There's a lot of secrets in District 9

Ever since that awesome Halo short film, it's been clear Neill Blomkamp is one to watch. The first trailer for District 9 was intriguing, but didn't give much away, even when the unblurred and subtitled version emerged. But now with the arrival of a proper full on trailer, we can all start to get very excited. It looks to combine the gut chillingly unpredictable thrills of reality shows like Cops with stomping mech battles, which in no ones world could be a bad thing, but what the movie is really going to be about and where it will take us remains firmly mysterious. Very exciting stuff. Also check out the short Blomkamp made that no doubt got Peter Jackson even more interested in his work.

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PS3 brings exclusive Batman content to the table, wins console war

S1nnerman and I have one of those friendly banter with undercurrents of potential violence console relationships. He's PS3, I'm Xbox, we both own the superior console. He has the state of the art, silent running, future proof, all powerful black panther entertainment centre, while I have the pinnacle of pure-bred gaming machines with an unmatched games library and peerless online play. He points out mine sounds like a plane taking off and is likely to drop dead at any moment. I observe that most cross platform games look better on mine despite the mighty cell, and that he essentially owns an expensive dvd player. We both of course have better exclusives than each other. Killzone? Ha I think not he cries. Pfft I respond, big whoop, where's your GOW? We're on GOW III fool, he retorts. Gears 3, I chortle, what have you been smoking?? This can go on for days. In fact, it's the never ending verbal diarrhoea of two souls who both know they're right, and it's one that's been played out since the dawn of man. With rocks.

The undeniable truth regarding the exclusives however, is of course that I'm right! Gears, Mass Effect, Fable, Left 4 Dead, maybe even Halo! Never mind the AAA downloadable content around at the moment like the Fallout trilogy and GTA4. No, maybe when Team ICO drop something, I might have call for jealousy, by which time I may even pick one up as it will be 2020. That's what I thought anyway. But no, I 've cause for envy sooner than that with the news on Batman: Arkham Asylum, as reported on Kotaku. The game looks great. I am excited for the game. What I would also be excited about is the chance to play as the Clown Prince of Crime himself! And not in some half assed beat em up kind of way, but in a sneaky, silent take-down with uproarious cackling afterwards across a series of exclusive challenge maps kind of way. In fact I'm not even sure I can imagine what the game play as the Joker will be like, but it would clearly be awesome with alot of potential for acid spewing flowers, electrocuting hand buzzers and er, deadly toxic lipstick with which to subdue your enemies? Although yet to be officially confirmed, the evidence that was, apparently inadvertently, on display in Home is fairly compelling. Damn you Rocksteady and by association Sony. You finally made me green. Shaddup S1nner!

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Heaven is where the DSis come from

Look here Nintendo. You had me at 'bigger screens' ok, no need for this bizarro alternate universe where everyone and everything is Daz white and people all use their DS's while grinning at each other. Those people are seriously enjoying themselves, especially the old couple at 2.31, pointing and laughing at their new digital photo frame. Jeepers, get a room.

Despite the god awful marketing, you will find me lining up on April 3 to pick up what will be my 3rd DS, that's one for each iteration. I remember thinking it was a risky purchase back when it first appeared, a real wild card in the Nintendo stable - will it be a natural replacement for the Gameboy or will it go the way of the virtual boy? Time has proven me a savvy consumer with a good eye for a winner, but even more time has proven me a sucker for shiny objects "now with bigger screens". Damn you ninty.

I do love my DS still though, having recently been spending a lot of time with the Korg DS10 (genius) and Professor Layton, and don't feel too ridiculous shelling out for another one with a few fairly pointless bells and whistles on it. Cameras aside, I'll definitely make use of the SD card slot and the web browser, despite no flash (damn!). The shop sound fairly handy too, modelled after the Wii shop which I have found pretty good use for, so I better cash in some more stars for points, if there are any to be sold yet.

This marketing is straight from Nintendo's dark new heart of inclusivity for all age ranges and genders, and despite the extreme cheese, you have to admit the DS has the gamut pretty well covered for everyone on the planet. It is still an odd realisation to be creating Kraftwerkalike electronica on the tube, only to notice that sat opposite a 6 year old girl in pigtails is holding the same object as you, albeit a pink one, mucky with glittery stickers, and playing with her pixelated dalmatians. Where will this Nintendomination of the planet end? At least a couple more DS versions away probably. The real big question is, do I trade in my DS Lite or just go ahead and buy another copy of Korg for some linked up, 32 pattern choons. That's going to be kind of tricky on the tube..

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2009 hatez ur xboxes

So yes, it finally happened. As 2008 limped out of our lives (happy new year by the way) my poor little overworked xbox gasped, keeled over, twitched a bit and finally carked it. I couldn't quite believe it had happened - I thought it was one of those myths and legends of gaming lore that gamers tell their kids to frighten them, but it was all true and really happening. With a few days of valuable game playing holiday remaining as well. Bugger. It was Far cry 2 what done it. Clearly rendering all those pretty sunsets was too much for my Elite, which I had purposely held out for so as to avoid this situation.

Of course, I was straight on the blower to Microsoft, where a very helpful young man called Ryan with a bizarrely unidentifiable accent processed my claim. "Yes" I said. "Its the red ring." He was very comforting when I started weeping. So anyway, the claim is processed quick smart, and in a matter of days, UPS turn up to pick it up. Being at my parents for Christmas of course, that was where it is to be delivered back to, and some 2 weeks later, it has just arrived back there. Fairly impressive. But I cant get it off them for another week. Sheesh. With a bit of luck they will have replaced the console, and my new rig will be home to the fabled Jasper enhanced mother board. Here's hoping eh? I'm itching to get back to GOW and the rest. What a start to the year eh?

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"..and with great effort, Ben begins to turn the frozen donkey wheel.."

Lost has ended then, with a spectacular 2 hour finale, bringing to a close a really very satisfying season. My how time flies when you're having fun. This was a particularly pleasing closer, rife as it was with everything a finale should have, from shootouts to tearful reunions, from ghostly visitations to Sayid beating someone up. The standout moment for me though was Ben's frozen donkey wheel moving of the island. What. The. Funk? He blows a hole through the back of the teleport thing you expect him to use, revealing an ancient frozen donkey wheel thing, that when you turn makes the whole island vanish, and you, jump 3 years into the future and to the other side of the world? Okaay. Whatever it was, awesome, loved it. I had fun watching the sequence followed directly by when he awakes in the desert. Seamless.

I have now officially given up reading theories or undertaking in any kind of speculation whatsoever, it's clear my head will asplode if I attempt to take in the closing revelation of the recent activities and demise of Jeremy Bentham. All I really know is that guy is not dead, not by a long shot, he will rise again Lazarus style moments after plopping on the beach, you read it here first.

The big question again is, as ever, where next? We know 2 seasons remain.. will they expend an entire season just trying to get back to the island? Surely Lost can't sustain itself away from the island entirely? So then how can we revisit it without divulging the horrors of what happened/is happening after the 6 left? Ooh nearly started speculating, bad Munial. There's plenty of opportunity for clever flashbacks/forwards for clever writers here, and they continue to prove themselves to be the cleverest writers on their, or any block. No, I'm just going to sit back and let it all wash over me as and when. So uh, when? Next year? Waaaah..

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Lust

At last it's returning. At laaast. For every person I know who loves Lost, I know at least ten who gave up on it a long time ago. "Nothing ever happens" they whine. "It's all the bloody same" they moan. Balls. If it was any faster, I would have had an embolism over the summer, such was the giddy rate of revelation upon epiphany upon what the fuuucks. It was however so long ago, that I find myself wishing I'd squeezed in a refresher. Different parts of my brain frequently converse over everything that happened like drunks trying to order pizza.

"So, the others, long hair guy? ok? Ageing? Not ageing. Ummm Ok. Dharma gone, no Dharma. And with the flash forward with uh, yeah in the coffin... gets saved? who knows. Right and jacob. yeah. Big foot. With eye patch, regenerative shit man. So uh Locke? with the..uh.. yeah. Desmonds boat, yeah yeah penny? oh! Walt. Walt will know."

Although I do recall, and remain pleased that monoghan bought it, gurning tit that he is. He's bound to be back at some point though. Goddamn stupid crazy ass island, with its stupid ass box. But I really am intrigued to see where they go. The first episode of a season hasn't failed to surprise me yet, they get me every time those sly bastards. Will it be set now, looking back? Will it carry right on? How are they going to deal with Malcolm David Kelly being 8ft tall? The speculation is murder. Anyway, here's hoping that the writer's strike doesnt screw it up, and also here's hoping that the writers themselves don't just plain old fashioned screw it up. Look at what they did to Heroes! Do us proud kids! Now, to get bittorrent warmed up.

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