Avatar Day was a red letter day

There it was then. The full 20 minutes of footage in all its glory, on the big IMAX screen, in 3D. The trailer for Avatar hit the net yesterday, and the backlash is already in full swing! A lot of "its not photorealistic enough" and "looks like an Xbox game" (clearly not gamers), but how many of 'em got to the cinema to check out the real deal? The future has been on its way for 14 years, so now is the time to ask, are we there yet?

We open with the self same footage I saw just last week, which remains as equally impressive on the jumbo screen as it did previously, and larger. But then, oh glory of glories, the new stuff. First up is Mr Worthington helping himself into the mind melding sarcophagus while verbally sparring with Sigourney Weaver – they don’t seem to be getting on too well, could it be his cocky, brash machismo is rubbing her up the wrong way? Or perhaps the right way? Anyway, he’s in the tank, so let's see some Dileep Rao playing minority report with his snazzy Apple notepad, as the link between marine and Na’vi is established- we need to go first person for this. Wooshing lightshow, then bam, out of focus doctors are staring into the lens. This scene is glimpsed in the trailer, and is amazing. Worthington is immediately having the time of his life. He can feel his legs and is up and wobbling about the place, to the dismay of the medics who just want him to touch his thumb to his fingers. “This is great” he grins. And it looks it too. The creature is there in the room, while the medics, dwarfed by the blue giant, scurry around him. Remarkable.

Next up we’re in the jungle at night, Worthington is wrestling with an alien dog creature and is losing. Out of the dark leaps a semi naked Na’vi, firing arrow into the dog in midair. She takes out the rest of the pack in graceful, deadly movements, and the remainder retreat into the darkness whimpering as she snarls after them. She extinguishes Worthington’s torch with a curse, what a numpty, lighting a fire brand in a hostile jungle, and goes about putting one of the injured dog creatures out of it's misery. As he retrieves his torch from the pool, Worthington realises he has flawless night vision, and that the jungle is lit up all around him in gorgeous neon. Very pretty. Very alien.

Next, the scene directly following – Worthington and Zoe Saldana (for it is she) have their first tiff. He is trying to thank her for saving him. She is super pissed off at him for getting in trouble in the first place and needing her to kill the animals she did. Then why did you save me? “You have a strong heart – you have no fear”. Hmm first sign of sloppy romance (of course) or also an allusion to the fact that he’s a marine working a body that’s not his and he doesn’t really give two hoots if his face gets bitten off by space dogs? Regardless, the faces on the two protagonists are simply amazing, expressions and nuances so spot on, so detailed, they are looking more and more realistic.

Cut to the final scene. Worthington now seems to be part of a Na’vi tribe as Zoe is there, and there’s a bunch of other males there too. They are inching along a high precipice of a cliff face, and as the round the corner we see.. a flock of dragons basking on the rocks! Freaking big sabre toothed dragon things, all laid out on the cliff face, nesting like something out of Planet Earth, the leathery looking creatures squawk and roar, flapping away as the Na’vi approach. We learn they mean to capture these creatures, and that they use them as transport. Zoe has been teaching Worthington the tricks of the trade; he must make a bond between himself and the lizard to tame it. He approaches one that looks game, and prepares for the catch. One of the male Na’vi is mocking – “The moron's going to die” - ooh, 3D subtitles. The creature snaps at our boy, he dodges and leaps on its back, wrestling with it for control, but is thrown, nearly taking a spill off the impossibly high cliff as the nasty looking male jock roars with laughter. What a douche. Undeterred, Worthy leaps back up and then onto the back of the creature, this time pinning its head. We see the "bond" is literal – he grabs a tendril from the back of the creatures head, and his own pony tail, and holds the ends together – we see silvery nerve endings intertwine between them and they fuse together – the dragon going wide eyed and docile in a moment. Next they’re off, the first flight "seals the bond". The first flight is actually a bit of a nightmare, as the creature dive-bombs and tumbles through the air, the camera swooping after them in stomach lurching arcs. Worthy cant get the hang of flying, the creature smacking into the cliff face and falling several hundred feet, screechily protesting all the way – until he shouts “shut up and fly straight” and it simply does - he thinks it, it does it, then it's plain sailing all the way, and a chance to take in the beautiful panoramic landscape.


And then we’re into the wrap up reel. This followed the style of the trailer but there were a few more shots in there that are not, including an indescribably cool shot of falling debris – perhaps one of those floating mountains being destroyed and falling to earth? - and lots more of the epic action from the trailer, which we didnt get a sniff of in the proper footage. Boo.

Lets be clear, what I saw was astonishing. I’ve read an awful lot of hating on the nets today, mostly aimed at the trailer, and I honestly can’t understand it - just what were people expecting from a sci fi movie about aliens on another world? Ok, so you can tell the Na'vi are CGI, but only some of the time! In closeup especially, they are breathtakingly convincing, and at the very least, represent the pinnacle of computer generated characterisation. I thought the trailer alone looked great – impeccably gorgeous landscapes, again undoubtedly the most advanced CG ever seen, anywhere (FACT) but to see the world and characters in 3D, and on the big screen was something else. What these wizards have created is so rich and so gorgeous that I simply need to see this movie now. The imagination on display was astonishing and so well realised and incredibly immersive that claims about it being a watermark in cinema are probably spot on - bearing in mind JC certainly hasn't shown his full hand yet, the game is set to be well and truly changed. It seems in some camps expectation had been set so high, the reality has come as a bit of a downer. But it really shouldn't have as this is the closest anyone's come to fashioning another world onscreen, and the reaction may be more to do with the realisation it's going to be a movie about blue skinned aliens in a jungle. Some people are never satisfied.

The technology has been the focus since we heard about it, but watching the footage it became clear that what Cameron has been quoted as saying about the tech being advanced enough to “wave its own wand and make itself disappear” is totally true – all the CG and 3D will play second fiddle to the story and characters. The Avatars, despite being 8ft tall and blue, were completely believable, and the range of expression on their oddly feline faces was amazing– by the second viewing (did I mention I went twice?!) they didn’t look CG at all, but rather like familiar faces, each unique and remarkable. Imagine sitting through a whole film. We’re going to love these things.

But this is just me. Could you get tickets? Were you a part of Avatar day? What did you think? Revolutionary or Thundercats meets Ferngully?

If you need to see the trailer.. here it is!

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Avatar Impressions: seven minutes of heaven

So, the climactic highlight of day two of Empire magazine’s Movie-con was seven all too brief minutes of James Cameron’s Avatar, a piece of film history in the making I have dreamed of seeing for years. This was a portion, or little under half, of what was shown at Comic-con. Bit of a bummer, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers, and considering “Avatar day” and the reveal of the full bevy of footage, is some mere four days away, beggars can’t be impatient little whiners either.

So what the hell did we see, and does it as promised, beckon a new dawn of cinema into our lives? Needless to say, spoilers (of sorts - for purists anyway) follow. The clips were introduced by Cameron himself (oncsreen), but we couldn't hear what he was saying for the blood pounding in our ears..

The first clip shown is a military briefing. Pure Cameron, he’s made a movie with marines – first good sign. These weren't the ruffnecks of Aliens though, all told they looked like quite a clean cut, nerdy bunch, nary a tatoo or disdainful sneer in sight - a crack team of librarians. The 3D is fairly immersive, bearing in mind this wasn’t even on an IMAX screen, good depth to everything and all is nice and sharp with no blurry overlap like I’ve seen in other 3D films. Is this just because I’m sitting directly in the centre of the row, or to do with the strangely heavy, 3D glasses I’m wearing? Who knows. These suckers were not the usual run of the mill glasses that get dished out at RealD movies though, boasting an IR sensor on the front that I've since learned allowed each lens to react to the light from the screen, darkening or brightening, ensuring the correct image is shown to the correct eye. The company that makes them are here if you're interested - Cameron approved 3D Tech.

But I digress, so we’re in the military briefing as Sam Worthington rolls in to the back of the crowd in his wheelchair. The scarred chief of security Stephen Lang is barking at the new recruits, a nasty looking four finger/claw rake across his head – definitely a beastie injury – explaining how outside, on Pandora, everything they encounter will try to kill them. “You may want to consider a trip to hell for some R&R after a tour on Pandora.” Oh dear. He explains his job is to keep them alive, but he quickly manages their expectations with the comforting rider that he won’t be successful with everybody. Oh very dear.

Cut to the action. We’re in a jungle. A lush, luminous alien jungle, and a massive rhino creature with a hammerhead shark appendage is roaring and smashing the vegetation up. Worthington’s avatar is the focus of it’s attention – a blue skinned, feline faced creature. This is what it’s all been about, in the moments when we see the avatar closely, I really wasn’t sure what I was looking at. It’s clearly CG, but with an incredible detail and texture to it. The skin on it’s face somehow looked more skin like than the regular CG effort. It’s face contorts and twists with fear and doubt as the Rhino thing continues it’s rampage. Others are nearby, Sigourney Weaver’s avatar is offering advice, explaining that he mustn’t shoot the angry creature, or run away. "what should I do, dance with it?". More of them are watching in terror, each unique, one with strangely expressive eyes set far apart on its face. The rhino thing gets really feisty, so Worthington does too, charging right back at the massive beast, waving his blue arms. It works, the creature is freaked, it stops its charge and displays itself like a peacock with frilly neck flaps and a big roar. Looks very cool. Worthington is encouraged, but we see behind him another threat has emerged, a shiny black, panther like creature, with a predator-like, flapping toothy face, and probably bad breath. The rhino clocks it, and turns tail. Worthington thinks it’s reacting to him – “That’s right, bitch!” he hollers imaginatively. Of course, the panther makes itself known, leaping over Worthington to see off the rhino, who has run back to it’s pack – yes there are several of them off through the undergrowth, before turning it’s attention back to Worthington. It’s sleek and muscular, black and smooth, like a cougar from some heavy metal nightmare. He asks of Sigourney, should he run from this one? The answer is equivocal; yes, run! He runs.

Cue a breathless and thrilling chase through the undergrowth which blurs by, all the while the sinewy black panther-thing snapping at his heels. It is fast and powerful, and very convincing in it’s movements, as is Worthington’s avatar, who leaps and pegs it through the forest, stumbling blindly to get away. He takes refuge under the roots of a large tree, the creature smashes and snaps at them, splinters and debris flying everywhere. Worthington finally tries to shoot the thing, his gun emitting meaty old school gunfire with nice tracer fire. No pew pew lasers here. It’s all to no avail though, as the creature fluidly whips it’s head into the burrow, snatches the gun right out of his hands. Oh bums. He makes a break for it, but the thing is on him in an instant, as he falls to the ground towards the lens, the thing is leaping in a glorious slow mo onto him, slathering jaws open wide – and the footage ends. We all start shouting. That was never seven minutes! Apparently it was.

So they show it again! - much to my delight, but sadly no additional footage was forthcoming, damn them. The whole thing was very impressive, but too damn short to really get a bead on. The CG was without a doubt, extraordinary – detailed and with realism not seen before, and we emerged unsure as to how much of the rain forest was also CG – probably all of it on reflection. I emerged itching to see the Avatar itself again in closeup, as the few brief still shots of their unusual faces had been the highlight – the emotion mo-cap was amazing in the brief snatches we saw of it, with extremely realistic expressions that differed totally from something like say, Beowulf, in that it didn’t really look animated. Hard to pinpoint how that was happening to be honest, could it be Cameron really has broken some kind of uncanny valley barrier by blending the mocap with 3D? The clip also raised a few plot questions. Like, my understanding was that the avatar's were necessary because humans couldn't set foot on Pandora, on account of it being so hostile. But why then are some of the wet eared recruits in the briefing going to die? Surely if your avatar gets eaten, you just pop out of your control pod, and fire up a new one? Or is it a Matrix dealie situation, where the body cannot live without the mind? Or do only a select few get to use the avatars, while everyone else has to take their chances in the jungle? Curiouser and curiouser..

Anyway, Avatar day is fast approaching, so we’ll soon get to see the full 14 minutes of footage, on the IMAX screen, just as God, sorry, Cameron intended. Stay tuned for a blow by blow write up on that badboy too, or better yet, get yourself to a screening for a glimpse of the future of cinema so we can compare notes.

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Empire Movie Con: Day 2 Roundup

Well that’s that then. The movie con is done and dusted having completed a second day of fabulous movie related morsels. A big thank you to the Empire crew for laying on such a great weekend and for all the goodies and pressies – (a George Lucas in Stormtrooper disguise action figure for everyone? You guy’s rule!!). We saw more trailers, more footage, more stars and more movies. A screening of the terrific Adventureland proudly topped off the morning, while a very hard quiz dominated the early afternoon. Before and after those events though, day two went like this..

Iron Man 2

We started with a bang with a short but sweet look at Iron Man 2 introduced by the president of Marvel comics, and another appearance from the man himself, Robert Downey Jr, who was only slightly less animated than yesterday after no doubt partying all night with supermodels as is no doubt such a megastar’s wont to do.

We see Tony Stark enjoying some breakfast in suit, but sans helmet, reclining in the hole of a giant donut above a café – “Sir - I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the Donut” shouts Samuel L Jackson – oh yes; Nick Fury. We move to their chat inside – says Stark, “just so I’m clear, should I look at the eyepatch, or your eye?”.

We move to a courtroom, Stark is very publicly duelling with a board of US Senator’s who are demanding he hand over his weapon to the US government, which he flatly refuses in no uncertain terms, denying his device can be accurately described as a weapon, no, it’s a hi-tech prosthesis. His attitude causes uproarious laughter from the onlooking public and reduces the Senator (Gary Shandling) to shouting obscenities. Very funny.

Next up, Don Cheadle (oh silly Terrence Howard) is buying futuristic guns in an aircraft hangar from Sam Rockwell. “I’ll take them. Which one? All of them.” Durr. Cut to a very large Iron man destroying everything in several directions at once. Sweet.

We also see the leaked teaser trailer you may have recently glimpsed, its still hanging around somewhere, but nowhere safe enough to link to. In it we see Iron man actually in action, swooping down on a city-scape, all while dodging fire and incoming rockets. Again, sweeet. We also see Mickey Rourke hammering together his own arc power source, and laughing maniacally whilst approaching a prostrate Stark with double electric whips a-crackin’! What’s going on here then? Tony seems to be wearing a leather biker suit with Stark on it? Has Rourke gate crashed a race? Who knows, but it looked awesome.

The Hurt Locker

Kathryn Bigelow & Mark Boal show up to talk us though the Hurt Locker, which follows a bomb disposal team on their dangerous day job in the Iraqi conflict. We see a good chunk of footage as a massive car bomb is discovered in a busy area. Tension runs high as Jeremy Renner tries to figure out how it’s wired as the rest of the team cover him. It’s tense enough just watching the bomb disposal side of things, he sheds his heavy protective gear early on – “There’s enough explosive to blow us all to Jesus – if I’m gonna die, I wanna die comfortable” - but the whole site is a massive open space, and as the guys scan the buildings and keep spotting more and more apparent civilians watching the scene, filming the events unfold on camcorders, and watching them get more and more twitchy, there was a crushing sense of impending tragedy as you knew they were going to start killing people. Not this time luckily, as the bomb is defused, and no one starts shooting the townsfolk. You get the feeling things don’t always go so well in the Hurt Locker, so named after the slang for precisely when things do go wrong.

Bigelow and Boal took some questions on the film, Boal himself wrote the script after spending time with a real such unit in Iraq, giving a uniquely authentic edge to the whole thing which really came across. The film looks great, but it was a pretty heavy subject for a Sunday afternoon, so we were all quite relieved to move onto some more trailers.

Odds n Sods 2

More bits n bobs from various companies, some I’d seen before some not. There was the trailer for The Road which still looks great, but where's the new footage? Next, a cryptic trailer for Paranormal Activity, the new Blair Witch projectalike, where a couple film the spooky happenings in their house – the trailer was mostly comprised of quotes telling how scary the film is – I guess it’s not one you can show a lot of footage for, but what was there looked promising. There was a trailer for Pandorum (yawn) and also Richard Kelly's latest, The Box which looked great – a creepy and disfigured Frank Langella presents Cameron Diaz with a mysterious box with a button inside – press it, and somewhere in the world, someone you don’t know will die. You also get a big suitcase of money. Hrmm, intriguing no? It looked to have a definite whiff of The Game about it, all conspiracy and distrust and shady goings on; definitely sign me up.

There was also a bizarre excerpt from upcoming Miyazaki treat Ponyo. I could describe it for you, but honestly, it was pretty bonkers. Tiny fishy people things were involved, and many actual fish turned golden and then into waves, while the head fishy person thing turned into a proper little person and ran along the sea to the astonishment of a local warship. Ment-Al. But typically gorgeous.

Oh yes, there was also Kate Beckinsale in White out which was a little too dull for me to recall much about. Sorry about that. She was in the shower at one point, I remember that much. We also got a nice clip from Exam presented by director Stuart Hazeldine, who spoke very frankly about his experiences as a script Doctor in the Hollywood studio system - apparently, it sucks. The film looks okay, but the footage wasn't giving much away. How much drama can you really wring out of 8 people locked in a room? Probably loads..

Bunny and the Bull also looked great - from the madmen who brought us Garth Merengies dark place and the Mighty Boosh, this is a road trip movie set in an agoraphobic's flat. Unashamedly Gondry-esque, this has some very funny people in it, and the clips we saw certainly were certainly full of visual flair, if not belly laughs.

Twilight – New Moon returned to the joy of the 6 people who wanted more. This time we see one of the girls (which one? Honestly no idea) running about an Italian city in the midst of a religious festival (everyone spookily wearing red monk robes) just in time (maybe, as the clip teasingly ended) to reach Robert Pattinson who looks to be attempting to commit suicide by sunlight? More hilarity from the Twilight team – Pattinson did, of course, remove his shirt as he was about to step out of the doorway. Those guys, they know how to get the laughs I’ll give ‘em that.

The Thiiird Dimensiooonn

A big portion of the afternoon was all in glorious 3D by way of some very chunky 3D glasses – mostly Disney flicks, and some little known sci-fi movie no one had heard of. Ahem.

There was a very sizeable reel of footage from A Christmas Carol, the Dickensian tale being given a Zemeckesian makeover a la Polar Express. Jim Carrey looks amazing, but not at all like Jim Carrey, as Ebeneezer Scrooge – we see him humbugging a very Colin Firthesque version of Colin Firth, and being terrorised by the ghost of his former partner. Very impressive CG and 3D, this looked really tasty.

There were trailers for Alice in Wonderland, and Toystory 3, both available on the net, nothing new here, but they were in 3D too and looked great for it. Which isn't quite strong enough to convey how hot the Tron Legacy trailer looked in 3D and on the big screen. Liquid neon sliding across my eyes looked good enough to eat. Bring me Tron!!

We also got a nice excerpt from UP! which still looks just gorgeous, and made me want to see it all the more – here the old man and boy were escaping from a pack of vicious dogs in a cave up a mountain aided by their talking dog and a big bird. Naturally. Dammit why isn’t this out in the UK yet?! Do want.

Then of course, we moved onto other things, which I think deserve to be mentioned in their own post. Which will be up shortly. Oh my yes.

And so that was that, all in all another awesome day, shame it’s all over now. Did I even mention the screening of Wonderland and the film quiz? No? Well, Wonderland was great, another review to write, while the quiz I could have done without tbh, there wasn’t even a picture round.. what the hell, we were in a cinema?! Still, many people won some fabulous prizes. Not me though, I er, lost my pen.

That aside though, props to the Empire crew for an awesome weekend, we saw some amazing stuff and now I’m nicely clued up on what looks good for the next few months. Also that I want to see District 9 again very soon, and need to blow off work for the next 3 months and get in line at an Imax cinema.

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Empire Movie Con: Day 1 Roundup

Just got back from a fantastic day on the south bank at Empire’s Moviecon II which I was lucky enough to attend (thanks Bro!). The lineup was pretty sketchy until the very last moment, but they came good and delivered some corking material. A plethora of new footage and trailers, and a super secret screening of (yes!) District 9! (review to follow!). But for now, here’s a brief roundup of what went down..

The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus

Terry Gilliam showed up to talk to us about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and much against his personal wishes, showed us some clips – Lily Cole smoking fags and flirting with her boyfriend on the back of the Parnassus carnival caravan as it trolls through town, a bemasked Heath Ledger enticing the bemused shoppers of what looked like Covent Garden to enter his Imaginarium, and a stunning long shot of the vast elephantine temple glimpsed in the trailer. Gilliam is hilarious as ever - when asked by an earnest young audience member of his recommendations on how to get into the film industry, his reply came back; the problem is there are too many movies, if I have to scrape and beg to get money out of a studio, why should you be successful?

Kickass is appropriately named

Some awesome, awesome footage from Kickass - the movie of the ultra violent comic book. A super-suited and winged idiot leaps off a sky scraper to his abrupt and sticky death, followed by some witty banter between Aaron Johnson and his pals discussing why, with all the comic book fans in the world no one has ever actually tried dressing up and fighting crime. Next up, Nicholas Cage hilariously training the tiny Chloe Moretz by shooting her in the chest – Good call baby doll! Then to a fairly disturbing/funny sequence where Johnson takes on some local thugs in his green jumpsuit, which ends with horribly realistic results. And finally an extended sequence where the maniac midget Hit Girl saves Johnson from a sticky situation with some hardass gangstas by butchering everyone in the room along with the most explicit language you’ll ever hear from a 12 year old. Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Jason Flemyng turned up to talk about the experience and their favourite superheroes – for the record, Red mist (Mintz Plasses character) and Wolverine! All of the footage looked amazing - this is going to be huuge!

Sherlock Holmes - meh. Oh wait there's RDJ, woo I love Sherlock Holmes!!

We saw a smidgeon of new footage – an extended trailer that didn’t add much to my anticipation for this one. But we all had to go berserk when Robert Downey Jr and Guy Ritchie unexpectedly swanned in, RDJ in particular soaking up the admiration with unbridled glee. Ok, maybe I’m a little excited for this one after all. Damn celebrities.

Twilight - New moon: A comedy

Twilight fans rejoice, although I’m not sure there were any in the house – we saw some unintentionally hilarious footage which got a big laugh – probably not the reaction the film makers were looking for – as Taylor Lautner whipped off his shirt to tend to a hurt Ashley Greene to reveal his perfectly chiseled six pack. Fucking funny.

Harry Brown - Michael Caine is mad as hell..

Some superb footage of this thriller starring Sir Michael Caine – an old London geezer who has had enough of the local scumbags and decides to go all Charles Bronson on them. We started with an impressive sequence filmed on a mobile phone where the thugs initiate a new member and inadvertently murder a woman from the back of their bike, before getting crushed by a truck. Disturbingly authentic.

Then, there followed a nice long sequence where Harry tries to buy a gun from two of the creepiest criminals in London – an amazing performance from Sean Harris, who appeared on stage with the supremely eloquent director Daniel Barber. This was a pretty hardcore scene – Harris is scarred and tattooed and fairly out of his mind, unconscious crack whore sprawled on the sofa, a rainforest of weed in the next room – he is a bundle of drug induced nerves and you want to scratch yourself just watching him. Needless to say, Harry Brown doesn’t let ‘em off easy, and finally delivers a tasty monologue to the bullet riddled Harris.

Odds n' Sods

There was more besides, too much for me to recall at such an hour. Trailers and clips from Astroboy (disappointingly bland- and the clips just kept on coming!) British horror flick Triangle (out of contextually impenetrable) the new Nightmare on Elmstreet (promisingly creepy), Jonah Hex (that face looks a bit sore) Taking Woodstock (muddy) and Sorority Row (balls). Cirque de Freak looked very silly with some bizarre casting of John C Reilly as the vampire, while Saw VI wasted everyones time and Daybreakers looked great - imagine a world where everyone is a vampire, and the human minority are farmed for blood! Equilibrium meets vampires indeed.

There was also some extended footage of the Lovely Bones introduced by Peter Jackson (by recorded video sadly), which continues to look hauntingly gorgeous, as does Spike Jonze's dreamlike Where the Wild things are, in which the massive furry creatures romped about the place building a fantastical castle. Amazing.

Altogether, an awesome day of movies and freebies and swag. District 9 made the day – such a buzz when the words “Peter Jackson Presents” appeared onscreen and the crowd went wild. And we have a whole day 2 to look forward to, in which Avatar footage is confirmed. Woo! Expect a full report here soon!

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More Impressions: Killzone 2

Another Killzone 2 post? What's the Tree house come to? S1n's already given his demo impressions, but I recently had a chance to play the full game, or at least the first act, so it would be remiss of me not to add in my 2 cents. I played for a good 4 hours or so on normal mode, reaching the 2nd act and taking in a boss fight or two. So this is not a review, which will be along shortly once we've properly digested all it has to offer. Bear in mind, I'm the resident Xbot in this outfit, which should convince you my words are objective when you see how nice I am..

So what's good?

Visuals. Stunning. We're looking at the peak of video gaming visuals for sure, animation and lighting and sheer attention to detail are second to none. Motion of enemies is fluid and varied, and very realistic. Smoke and dust kick up and whirl to create a very convincing environment that's toxic and nasty. Colour palette is not an issue, I saw plenty of other colours in there besides grey. Although it is not, of course, visually up to what we were shown back in 2005, (but I think we knew that by now didn't we?) all the elements shown in that trailer are all largely intact, albeit in a "this is as good as technology really is so far" kind of way.

Sound. Up there, although lacking a surround sound setup is a bummer. Guns give meaty register, and close up shotgun blasts produce sloppy gibbage. Tasty. The wind whistles, and explosions thunder. Not sure why the Helghast are all cockney geezers though.

Environments. Are very solid with lots of nice interaction, which is at the level when you get disappointed that you can't do something else, like blow holes in walls, because the types you have seen are so good. Explosive gas cans litter the place and produce satisfying asplosions with much gusto. Kablooey. There's also some terrific set pieces in which shit really gets blown up.

Level design. So far, linear, but appropriately so. Just interesting enough to keep from being completely derivative, despite not (yet) showing us anything remotely new. Helghan kind of reminds me of that city I invaded in COD4? Missions are broken into sub objectives as usual, and keep the action chugging along nicely. The first act sees you defending a convoy along its path to the centre of the city, but it's all fairly incidental. Missions boil down to blow up that building, secure that turret, lower that bridge and so forth. Come to think of it, that is kinda derivative isn't it?

Weapons. Varied and fun, again if unoriginal. A few decent rifles to choose from, the standard grunt rifle being very similar to one from COD4 with its square iron sights. The bolt gun is a lot of fun, and the sniper rifle, always a good measure of a designers smarts, is spot on, if quite hard to master. Turrets are boss. It also features a top notch flamethrower with which you may guiltily toast your screaming enemies. There's generally a lot of each gun lying about the place too, so you can chop and change and try out a good selection without fear of reprimand. It's very generous with the rockets too. The short fused grenades are essential in beating back flanking Helghast, and provide a satisfying treat when they find their target. There's also a nice tank that you're disappointingly not allowed to drive anywhere. Maybe they're saving that for later?

Enemy AI. Is very convincing and generally challenging. They charge, they flank, they retreat when you shoot them in the face. They seemingly talk to each other and coordinate. They show intelligence beyond your expectation, sneaky little buggers. And they come for you when you're on the back foot. Scary stuff. Oh and they're also really tough, especially the big fat ones.

Sixaxis integration. Really nice touches! Set charges and turn valves with turns of the pad. I love this sort of thing when implemented well, and here it doesn't seem forced or gimmicky. Wonder what else you get to twist later on?

So far so great, so what's bad? Proper bad? Not a lot! But there are some niggles:

Script. Not high on my list of expectations, but steel yourself cos the script is dross. Cookie cutter marines lifted from Gears of War, Aliens, Starship Troopers, take your pick, shout ooh ra and expletives at each other. After 4 hours of playing I still wasn't 100% on which one I even was! The one with the daft haircut I think. They're all equally bland and foul mouthed, and weirdly ugly with it, in a "my face isn't actually very well designed" kind of way - perhaps the game's only visual failing. In the first act at least, there is no plot to speak of. We're invading the planet, they're not happy about it. I guess we really don't need much more than that. Some semi decent dialogue would be nice for a change, but then again I guess marines are never going to be chatting about the architecture.

Controls. Pretty solid for the most part, but the default settings are crippled. Surely everyone agrees the left trigger to aim and right to fire is a convention we can all embrace? So where does Guerrilla get off mucking about with it? But seriously, I'm personally so familiar with it it's a no brainer. Fortunately it's available as an alternate setup, but as a result some of the other design choices, it can cause problems at times, which brings me to ..

The cover system. Not a total negative, as this worked well for the most part, but it took some getting used to. Approach a wall or corner and hit L2 to attach to it as cover. You can then pop out by pushing the L stick, but you can also pop out with iron sights L1, meaning you are holding down 3 buttons just to pop out before you're even firing. If however, like me you're using the alternate (re normal fps) control setup, this can put you in situations where you run out of fingers. Specifically with the sniper rifle, you'll find you're a finger short to change the zoom level when sniping from cover. A minor niggle. More annoying is the lack of auto reload when in cover, you have to pull back to reload or you just stand there like a numpty. Probably a good idea to get in cover to reload anyway, but maybe I like reloading while upright?

Invisible walls. A necessity, granted, but some more work could have been done to justify and hide them. Take Fallout 3 where you may be clambering up a huge pile of rubble in downtown DC before you give up and realise there's no way through to that landmark on the map. It gave you a good crack though huh? Here a 2 foot wall or small pool of water is enough to block your path.

Friendly AI. While the enemies are smart and fearsome, your team is dull and stupid, and frequently wander into your sights then bitch about getting shot. I had to pull a Christian Bale at one point. Then I remembered he can't hear me, not being real and all.

I'm very short? Seriously, we couldn't pinpoint it at first, a sense that we had slightly constricted view of the world, an odd sensation of claustrophobia? Then it clicked. We're tiny. I had to check we didn't have crouch on. In a quiet moment, get next to your buddy, level off your sights, and see where you come up to. You're a midget. Even the scientist lady towers over you. Suddenly I feel very vulnerable..

No Co-op? Boo! With AI this good we need human backup. Surely this should be standard from here on in? Split screen multiplayer would be nice too.

So that's it. On the whole, very impressive. Possibly the best looking game to date on any system anywhere, which is almost a shame as it's all so ghastly. The enemies are tough and smart, and the gun play is the most satisfying since COD4, which has clearly been a strong influence. Of course we couldn't test it yet, but with such well put together weapons and physics, its clear that multiplayer is going to be a ton of fun, and will no doubt create a massive community and fan base.

It's not revolutionary by any means, treading well worn paths with frequent nods to it's forbears and a pretty safe approach to design, it is nonetheless a highly competent if not essential shooter. I do want to finish the fight now though..

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Delicious Gooey Centre

It was a good thing that my Xbox died over Christmas. Yes it was. Because had it not, I wouldn't have found myself at a gaming loose end, and returning to my poor neglected Wii, and downloading what some have called "one of the best games of the year".

And indeed it is one of the best games of last year, and another fine example of downloadable goodness from the Wii shopping channel. It's certainly tops the previous pinnacle, the charming but airy Lostwinds. So come with me, to the wonderful World of Goo..

World of Goo is not a typical game, but you may be forgiven for thinking otherwise after a cursory exam. It's essentially a puzzle game where you have to get balls of goo from point A to the safety of a pipe exit, or point B, if you will. This is achieved by building goo structures along which the rest of your sticky minions crawl until the pipe is in reach, and remaining goo's are sucked to safety. Sounds like a fairly straightforward puzzler no? A kind of throwaway gameplay entertaining for a while, but nothing to get too excited about? No! This game is evil! Wondrous, devilish, enchanting, maddening! So many emotions were wrung from me as I moved through the game at breakneck speed, needing to consume each level, building ever onward and up and around!

The key to the gameplay is the impeccable physics. As you pick up and drop your goo with the wii remote the structures form according to careful rules much like a meccano set. Building a bridge across a gap is a careful lesson in engineering as you'll need to support the structure in all the right places to successfully make it across. But that's just early on. After a few levels merely building bridges and towers becomes so passe, and the game throws increasingly bizarre and inventive challenges at you that will have you tearing your hair out, and looking on in wonder at the sheer ingenious-ness of it all. New types of goo are consistently introduced that broaden the possibilities of you structures, and gameplay never, ever becomes stale as a result. There is even a brilliantly witty story as your goo traverses the island, working towards the mysterious world of goo corporation who's new z-product threatens to change everything. Into 3D.



The product of a 2 man team, the creation of the game is a real wonder in itself. 2 people. Created this whole thing. Astonishing. Not only does it have spellbindingly great physics and gameplay mechanics, but the presentation is absolutely top notch. Comparisons to Tim Burton are well founded; the art direction and music invoke all kinds of Burton and Elfman nods, and manages to create, in a physics based puzzler bear in mind, a rich and coherent world. Of goo. The music is particularly wonderful, from the breathless knees-up of the Hungarian folky panic songs, to mournful techno death marches up the red carpet, the soundtrack is full of memorable and often epic scoring, that belies the fact that you're trying to get goo in a pipe. Indeed, the level of detail and charm in every aspect of the game completely belies the underlying objective. After a while, your goo is precious to you. Every one of them is a blessing to be cherished and used in only the most efficient constructions possible. We can only hope they know our thanks are with them for the sacrifice they made.

It's not an overly long game, but re playability is massive. Aside from simply wanting to re-experience all those lovely moments, the OCD challenges are infuriatingly, well, challenging. To get each of those awards, based on number of goos rescued or time and move based challenges, means absolute efficiency that demands borderline madness. OCD indeed. There is also the mysterious World of Goo Corporation area, where the total number of goo balls available relates to the number you've rescued from the game's levels, and the objective is simply to build up and up. What's up there? Nobody knows! As you climb ever higher, if online you see other people's tower heights signposted. We're all out there building our towers higher than everybody else's! Here even more than in the main game, you'll feel the panic and sting as your intricately engineered erection wavers and comes crashing down due to a poorly supported buttress.

Yes truly an astonishing piece of gaming. Brilliantly, you can play it right now if you want, as it's available on Steam for download. I think I prefer the tactile sensation of using a wiimote, but the game is equally charming on pc. For more goo-dness, check out this awesome blog some brilliant person has made.

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"..and with great effort, Ben begins to turn the frozen donkey wheel.."

Lost has ended then, with a spectacular 2 hour finale, bringing to a close a really very satisfying season. My how time flies when you're having fun. This was a particularly pleasing closer, rife as it was with everything a finale should have, from shootouts to tearful reunions, from ghostly visitations to Sayid beating someone up. The standout moment for me though was Ben's frozen donkey wheel moving of the island. What. The. Funk? He blows a hole through the back of the teleport thing you expect him to use, revealing an ancient frozen donkey wheel thing, that when you turn makes the whole island vanish, and you, jump 3 years into the future and to the other side of the world? Okaay. Whatever it was, awesome, loved it. I had fun watching the sequence followed directly by when he awakes in the desert. Seamless.

I have now officially given up reading theories or undertaking in any kind of speculation whatsoever, it's clear my head will asplode if I attempt to take in the closing revelation of the recent activities and demise of Jeremy Bentham. All I really know is that guy is not dead, not by a long shot, he will rise again Lazarus style moments after plopping on the beach, you read it here first.

The big question again is, as ever, where next? We know 2 seasons remain.. will they expend an entire season just trying to get back to the island? Surely Lost can't sustain itself away from the island entirely? So then how can we revisit it without divulging the horrors of what happened/is happening after the 6 left? Ooh nearly started speculating, bad Munial. There's plenty of opportunity for clever flashbacks/forwards for clever writers here, and they continue to prove themselves to be the cleverest writers on their, or any block. No, I'm just going to sit back and let it all wash over me as and when. So uh, when? Next year? Waaaah..

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Indiana Jones and The Dubious Quadrilogy

As you know, much excitement surrounded my anticipation for Indy IV, so what's the verdict having finally seen it? Err, not sure. Very mixed feelings. I went to see it with my bro, and our immediate conversation went something like this:

Him: It wasn't very goood.

Me: No, but it wasn't really baad.

Him: Yeah, but it wasn't very goood.

Me: No, but it still wasn't baaad.

/continues..

After these ruminations the discussion got downright intellectual. This reaction seems quite typical, as many reviews I've seen are similarly split. While expectation was heavy, there was always an underlying knowing it would disappoint to some degree, and so to be given a film that is almost a good Indy film, it seems something of a relief that it's not as bad as our imagination tell us it could have been.

So, detail. The start was kind of shaky - Ford initially seeming a shadow of himself, even his voice seeming unlike the Jonesey we remember, but he quickly settled in and reemerged as, yes, Indy! The escape from the nuke test site was a great moment, and the gradual emergence of the plot (ah yes the plot, more on that later) was nicely paced. There followed some more great set pieces; the motorbike chase across campus was particularly fun and reminiscent of old Indy, and Shia was a pretty likeable character from the off. More typical indianana ensued, maps with red lines on, charming peruvian villages, spooky crypts, jungle chases, familiar faces, man eating ants, burly ruskies up for a fist fight; it was all here.

And there perhaps was the problem. You can imagine George and Steve standing on set with a list on a clipboard, ticking them off as they went. At least they resisted a swordsman vs gun/no gun/some gun gag. Ultimately though, the actual plot, ie the mystery underlying the story was so wafer thin, and well, stupid, that it rather undermined all the good work. Ok, so the other films were pretty silly too, but the mythology they were based on was always compelling. Here though, the titular relic and its origin was just kind of lame, and as the quest played out, you didn't really feel anyone was solving anything, or that there was any kind of point to what anyone was actually doing. The mystery was decidedly un-mysterious from the off, and every semi perilous situation was escaped by frantically waving said skull about. All the nonsense about psychic warfare was never properly resolved, and come to think of it what the hell was supposed to have actually happened at the end anyway??

All that aside, believe it or not, I did enjoy the film. A good romp, it most certainly was, even with the excessive 50's tv obsession determined to make Shia a latter day Errol Flynn (down Lucas), and the cgi heavy money shot finale was genuinely impressive (good Lucas). I suppose it was naive to think they might best any of the previous films, and the question remains as to whether it really needed to be made at all. My feeling is while it didn't really add anything to the legacy, it didn't really take anything away either. But then again, all those beloved characters riding off in to the sunset at the end of Last Crusade was a much more fitting end for our hero. "Close your eyes Marion, don't look at it" is always an option I suppose.

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Quick Czech In

Ok ok so Niko isn't remotely Czech but it was an easy pun and I'm very tired. Since GTA came out I've literally had no time for anything. Also the real world is conspiring against me to do it's darndest to keep me away from Liberty City, so updates and impressions have been impossible. Put it this way, after a mega shit-ton of playing, I'm on about 49%. This thing is huuuge. Hit the jump for a mini adventure..

So then, as time is short, a micro impression if you will, one of the standout moments for me in a game composed of standout moments. I have just unlocked the 2nd island Algonquin, or Manhattan, and after a few errands set about a proper explore. To allow myself full appreciation of the scenery I hail a cab and take it slow down past Middle (Central) Park and through Star Junction (Time Square, really must I explain everything?). As I pass the park it's raining. The sky is dark and threatening, pedestrians are running, umbrellas are up. But the rain eases as I approach the bright lights of the square and the radio starts to play the dramatic Philip Glass track featured in the original trailer. I didn't know it was Philip Glass previously mind, but I call "Zit", the track ID service from my (in game) phone as it had been bothering me what it was. Thus enlightened by the return text, I marvel at the spectacle of the city from the backseat of the cab as it nudges through the busy traffic, sky scrapers dripping neon, towering overhead, and the now dazzling setting sun throws down shafts of orange hazy light between the reaching towers. My (in game) phone starts ringing. It's my pesky cousin, probably wants to go bowling. I press reject, I'm enjoying the moment too much. I'll call him back later. Then it occurs to me. Jaysus what kind of game is this anyway? The existential crisis quickly passes however and I reach my destination, then go and buy a new suit and give a beggar some money. Unfortunately, I also happen to be reading American Psycho at the moment, and what happens next is ugly.

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Shantaram-azing!

Books. Pretty great huh? With all the competing media around these days, my reading habit has been sorely neglected. Sinful for someone who claims to like reading and writing. That aside, I just finished the book, the cover helpfully displayed to the left, and found it so enjoyable it's worth a mention on this predominantly digitally fixated blog. As with many good books I've never heard of, once read you start seeing it everywhere. Every other person on the tube seems to have a copy under their arm, inspiring knowing winks and cheerful smiles and head waggles. Except of course, your copy is hidden from sight so they just think you're a weirdo. It is also I hear, set to become a big budget epic starring Johnny Depp, so not totally out of the playhouse's realm then.

I attempted to summarise the story to a friend. I didn't do well and apparently made it sound boring. Although if you think the story of a man who escapes from an Australian prison to become a doctor in a Bombay slum, gets recruited by the local godfather as a forger and gun-runner, and eventually goes to war in Afghanistan is dull, well, you must lead a very stimulating existence. And that really is bare bones, a hundred little adventures play out between these covers. Perhaps most stunning is that it all happened. This guy is for real and another friend of mine (the one who gave me the book, thank you x) ran into him in Goa. Wowsers. Of course it is a novel - Roberts describes the experiences as real, but the characters as fictional. Fictional or not, I'll freely admit that I wept like a little girl when one of the beloved characters dies, such is the quality of their realisation. I don't think I've ever cried at a book before, and if I have, I certainly can't remember when. If you need a good lengthy, rewarding book for a holiday or whatever, check this out, it is an exceptional, beautifully crafted read. And if you haven't read a book for a while, reading helps build your vocabulary and ability to construct sentences, so you er, really like, should.

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El Orfanato Espantoso (muy)

I hadn't noticed, presumably due to a low key marketing strategy that many good films fall foul of, particularly if they're (gasp) foreign, that The Orphanage has been out for a week. I was lucky enough to see it back in October at the Fright Fest in London, and made a note to keep an eye out for when it got released predicting huge waves of mega hit-dom. Alas that appears to not be the case, I've heard very little buzz around it, despite the few claims of it being "the new Pan's Labyrinth". Which it isn't. Although, it is in Spanish. And Guillermo was, you know, like the teaboy on set or something.

What it is is a deeply creepy ghost story in a very old-school kind of way. Big creaking houses (an old-school in fact - the titular orphanage). Children with unnervingly real imaginary friends. A sinister old lady with milk bottle glasses. It's all here. Throw in some of the most genuinely jumpy moments in recent cinema, and it makes for essential viewing. I seem to remember sleeping with the lights on that night. And that never happens, cos I'm well tuff. It's ghost children. They creep me out.

So why the low profile? Could it be due to recent real world events that disturbingly mirror some of the film's themes? Or is it just cos the kids can't manage films with subtitles? Whatever, if you can find it at your local cinema I urge you to check this out, as it's probably the best horror film I've seen since the Shining.

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There Will be Blood: Drink it up

The oscars came and went with a little less clamour than usual, despite all the will it/wont it go ahead hulaballoo. No country for old men did well - a fine a film sure, but There will be Blood came away with just a best actor and cinematography. And no best picture. This is strange to me, as I found this to be one of the most impressive films I've seen for a while. Certainly more interesting than the admittedly quite interesting NCFOM.

The latest from PT Anderson, Blood bizarrely shares much in common with previous efforts Boogie Nights and Punch Drunk Love, as we follow Day-Lewis' extraordinary "oil man" Plainview, through the various stages of his career at the turn of the 20th century. I was rather rooting for Viggo for best actor before seeing this, but the gong, it seems has gone the right way. From filthy and tenacious hole scratching silver miner, to batshit insane oil supremo, Day-Lewis puts in an extraordinary performance, chewing scenery and cast members up in a relentless torrent of abuse and well, shouting. The character is incredibly complex, and I thought rather likeable - although most people I've spoken to view him as a monster. Put it this way, I'd want him on my side. This is full of fabulous quotes, as long as you can imitate the voice properly, the milkshake speech is already a full fledged internet meme, and the OTT performances (yes there are others in it) makes for a twistedly funny film.

But should the best film oscar have gone Blood's way too? Hard to say. On No country again, I found to be rather safe and conventional, and seemed a more overtly oscar chasing movie. Blood is far from conventional. The soundtrack is insane (brilliantly) and the plot is quite subtle in its dark deconstruction of the american dream. The impact of the film is so closely tied to the main character that its easy to give him all the credit. At first glance, he is the film. This all may have gone against it, which saddens me a little, as this on repeat viewing may turn out to be a modern classic from a full fat genuine, bona fide, post-Kubrickian auteur. PTA drinks your milkshake.

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Cloverfield: Like the trailer, but longer

So, Cloverfield then, just saw. Interesting. Such a simple premise, makes you wonder just what we were all expecting. On reflection not a lot really, it is literally an extension of the trailer. Wait, all films are. What I mean to say is that there is nothing to happen in this film that you can't imagine from the trailer. Nothing, not a one thing. Another good argument for me to give up watching trailers completely. That's not to say that what happens isn't good, not by any means. On the contrary there is much in here that is both thrilling and exciting. And these are good things. The images, aside from oftentimes being lifted straight from the recent memory of new yorkers and the world alike, are at times stunning, and the interest level never dips. Even the [some might argue] overlong first act was nicely paced for me. I might suggest that the film is roughly 5 minutes too long at t'other end though, allowing itself an indulgent money shot that is really not necessary, but that only slightly sours the otherwise fat free carnage and silliness that precedes it. I say silliness, the strength here is that it is largely played totally straight, and while the characters themselves are as shallow as you might expect in a blairwitchumentary, the situations around them are always pretty solid. You still get the feeling the guy would have turned the camera off though. Don't know how they'll ever get round that one. It'll be interesting to see how this veeery traditional monster mash does at the box office, up against such relatively highbrow fare as it is.

Anyway, it's undoubtedly worth a look. Reject the naysayers, sit near the front and get nauseous as exactly what you imagine will happen, does!

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