Horror Corner: The House of the Devil

There have been good things said about Ty West’s 80’s retro horror film The House of The Devil. With a freshness rating hovering around the mid-80’s, this has been a generally well received little horror flick, applauded for its tightly crafted suspense and atmosphere of foreboding, all delivered in a cheesy, classic 80’s style. As a keen horror fan, and general admirer of the most consistently hilarious decade yet, nothing could be more appealing than a cleverly executed (wink wink) 80’s horror yarn – what a brilliant idea to juxtapose the look and style of a simpler form of cinema with more modern, sophisticated writing and cinematic techniques to really get some surprising results – what a fantastic opportunity to really confound some expectations. What a massive waste. For every 5 reviews heaping praise upon this film, there sits one unhappy lump that just didn’t get it. I say "didn’t get it", I think they got it just fine, for I am indeed one of these moaning minorities – The House of the Devil is simply not a very good film by any standards and like many others who didn’t get it, I’m left scratching my head at how it has managed to garner such widespread adoration.

Lets be clear – making a movie today that looks like it was made in the 80’s is a great idea. Here the movie is massively, wildly successful. Everyone’s hair is right, the big bombastic rock song over the cheesy credits is just right, the grainy film and tinny sound design is all just right. As a piece of retro tributism, this is top class stuff, absolutely no doubt. But the funny thing about 80’s films, specifically 80’s horror films, much like their action film cousins, is that they were by and large, crap. Shonky writing, inappropriate music, wonky plots, floppy scenery, terrible acting, risible dialogue and little regard for decent continuity. Yes the 80’s had it all, and by George we loved them anyway. True, returning to many of our most feared 80’s slasher flicks these days can leave us cold – is it that the films have grown old or that we have? (it's the films stupid). Regardless, to take the trappings of the 80’s and lay it over a framework of modern horror is undoubtedly an exciting postmodern concept. Except Ty hasn’t done that. No, he’s just gone and made a straight 80’s movie. Hmm.

So we join our heroine flat hunting, Joceline Donahue’s Samantha is looking to move off campus away from her noisy shagging roomie. She needs cash fast and luckily (?) spots an ad for a babysitter. She gives it a call and leaves a message, only to be called straight back at the payphone by a softly spoken gentlemen. Alarm bells ring already, this is great, it’s like being back in the 80’s! After some umm-ing and ahh-ing, Samantha and buddy drive out to the remote spooky house to do the job. Welcomed by a suitably creepy Tom Noonan (last seen by me as Cain in Robocop 2, further enhancing my 80’s vibe) it is explained that the job is actually to look after Cain’s ageing mother and not the kids at all. No problem, the cash is king. Meanwhile, Samantha’s ride runs into a spot of bother on the drive back to college, in what it emerges as the only genuine shock of the film, but which at this point we take for a sign of the many wonderfully unexpected things to come. We were all of us, deceived.

In a nicely slow burning twisting of the tension, we now witness young nubile Samantha gaily setting about her babysitting duties. She watches TV. She reads her books. She listens to bad rock music on her massive walkman, while footloosing it around the house, all the while we look through our fingers in anticipation of the HORROR ABOUT TO BE REVEALED… oh, nothing happened? And this goes on. She dutifully orders pizza as she was instructed to several times to (bit suspicious) she explores darkened spooky corners of the house, behind which probably lie unspeakable horrors (they do in fact, we see some, but their reveal is so mundanely handled it might as well be a potting shed), she discovers boxes of mysterious photos of strangely absent other people and eventually the third act limps in and Ty remembers to put some "horror" in.

The intention here was clearly to build an air of so much mortal tension that by the time the levee breaks, the audience will be a gibbering wreck. Except of course, we know what’s going to happen. Everyone knows that a film called house of the devil, in which a nubile babysitter desperate for money who's been persuaded to babysit a probable witch hag by a deeply creepy man and his wife is more than likely to end up tied to a pentagram about to be sacrificed to satan. We all knew that was going to happen Ty. What we expected was for you to mix it up a bit, bring some of those modern ideas to the table, on top of your already very modern idea of retro-styling. But instead, when the climax does come, it is exactly as a film in the 80’s would have done it. The witch hag is revealed as a deeply unscary midget with a mask on, the family a bunch of satanic devil worshippers intent on bringing their dark lord into the world through the sacrifice of a babysitter. The fights and murders that break out are as poorly executed and laughably bad as any of the finest 80’s b-movies. The ending is as stupidly daft as 1985 cinephile might have been happy with, but to churn it all out these days as is, without adding anything conceptually new or exciting is just pointless. Today, we frankly expect a bit more. We were hanging on for a shock that never came, a scare that had some teeth. Not necessarily gore or monsters or modern effects, but surely something could have been achieved without breaking the 80’s spell? Instead, that interminably slow 2/3rds of the film, that at the time felt so tense and full of promise, becomes on reflection little more than a very long, slow, uneventful time filler. And yet still critics argue that Ty is the master of the slow burn, one even going as far to compare him to Hitchcock! What are these people smoking? I get that the build up to a dramatic event can often be better than the event itself, but there is a ratio at work here, for every ten minutes of nothing going on onscreen, I expect to be this scared by the payoff. Sadly this film has no such ratio, and by the end, I wasn't even this much scared.

By sticking so doggedly to the brief of recreating the look and feel of an earlier time West has created a hollow, damp squib of a movie. Technically excellent in the near perfect cloning of a bona fide 80’s style, and with solid performances from everyone involved, the tension and excellent atmosphere of dread carefully cultivated in the first half collapses into farce in the absence of a suitable climax. You may as a result end up feeling massively cheated, in a way a bad modern movie just couldn’t deliver. I can watch bad 80’s bargain bucket movies whenever I like, I don’t need to sit through a modern film pretending to be a crappy 80’s movie, only for it to turn out that it really is a crappy 80’s movie after all! A great disappointment after such a promising setup, and a massively wasted opportunity.

Treehouse Rating: 2/5

80's hairdos were scarier

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2009 we barely knew ye..

2009 was a great year for cool stuff, and now that we’re firmly into 2010, we can safely look back without anger, and assess our favourite moments of all the cool stuff, and work out which was coolest. Cool films, cool games, movers and shakers, all the best bits. Come on through to see my roundup of both stuff and things that went well in 2009, and a little look forward to 2010 too.

Best Film

It was a fantastic year for sci fi nerdy joy with an avalanche of hotly anticipated brilliance right throughout the seasons, from Watchmen to Star Trek to Avatar, but who could’ve predicted it would be a (relatively) low budget, deeply personal and political buddy movie that would see them all off? Yes, my sci fi movie of the year has to go to District 9. By turns hilarious, disturbing, thrilling and moving, District 9 is that rare gem of a movie where you expect little and come away with so much. Of all the movies released in 2009, with perhaps the exception of Avatar, District 9 is the one people will remember years from now as being an important milestone both in the genre and in the creation of a force to be reckoned with in 1st time director Neil Blomkamp.

Best Comedy Character

In the year of Hangovers and Brunos, laughs were generally pretty thin on the ground in 2009. Perhaps that’s why the movie that made me laugh more than any other came so far out of left field, being as it was Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds. Sure there was plenty of wincing too in this uber violent jew-ish-fulfillment vengeance wet dream, but punctuated with moments of such comic brilliance to make it stick out firmly in the mind. Brad Pitt's drawl. The pipe. The headbutt. Colonel Landa generally. In fact lets just make him best character of 2009 and be done.

GOTY

Best game is a tricky one as I spent most of 2009 playing Fallout 3 – technically a 2008 title, but one of such breadth and depth, it took me that long to get through it. Add in the expansion packs and cor blimey guvnor that’s more gaming than you can shake a Chinese officer’s sword at. But rules is rules, so for a strictly 2009 only GOTY, look no further than Batman Arkham Asylum. With a sublime mix of stealth and brawling, both masterfully implemented, never before have we felt so Batman-y. If God is in the details, Batman Arkham Asylum is a religious experience, the beautifully crafted asylum is choc full of delicious nods to Batman’s glorious comic book roots, with villains and in jokes under every flowerpot. Throw in some truly out-there set pieces, flawless voice acting and a combat system so tightly implemented, dropping into a room full of thugs and walking away moments later, the assailants soundly snoozing with broken limbs a-plenty, has never felt so rewarding.

Best TV moment

A fire burns in a ceremonial bowl. A young man silently weaves at a loom. Now he’s on a pristine beach, catching a fish and cooking it on a stone, before eating it from a banana leaf. Up trots another slightly shifty looking man, and they have a chat, an ongoing argument. The shifty man asks him if he realises how badly he wants to kill him. The man replies he does. “Always nice talking to you Jacob”, and as we pan back, we see the man sits in the shadow of the enormous Egyptian statue until now glimpsed only in the distance, and all those years ago, by Sayid as merely a foot. Yes its Lost, yes it’s still amazing, and yes it will all be over soon. What will we do without it? The reveal of Jacob, the mysterious secret keeper of the island as a simple island dwelling fisherman at the start of the season finale was typically brilliant Lost. It told us so much, and yet so little. The later reveal about who a certain character wasn’t what we thought either was equally thrilling. Where do we go from here?

Biggest Tearjerker

Aside from the moment in Avatar when Jake flies for the first time (oh wow!), there was only one other movie moment in 2009 that jerked my ducts, and that was UP. In a sequence of unprecedented genius (actually, Pixar have a long history of genius so perhaps not totally unprecedented) we see our youthful protagonists grow up and grow old together, and heart breakingly, one of them pass away, all in the space of a 3 minute sequence in the first act of the film. We don't know these characters well yet, having only been introduced to them moments earlier, and yet the sequence is so powerfully moving, people in the cinema were openly blubbering, and we suddenly fully understand a character for the entire rest of the movie, who would otherwise have been rather unlikeable. It's testament to Pixar's brilliance that they would even consider putting such a sequence in a film like UP in the way that they did, but to get it so right, so emotionally spot on, is just mind blowing.

Best news for real Doctor Who fans

Ok, so I know I'm kind of in the minority here, but I for one am very pleased to finally see the back of Tennant and his leash holding idiot savant ego maniac scribbler Russel T Davies. Yes Davies re booted the Doctor, yes without him we wouldn't have had the success that was Eccleston and the handful of good episodes turned in since his departure, but he has also subjected us to some of the biggest stinkers. He single-handedly destroyed the Master, reduced from a hirsute arch nemesis to a blathering bin-man mug. His plots revolved around whatever zeitgeisty dross he had happened to read about in the Metro the day before, thank Christ Tennant to his credit had the good sense to veto the "Harry Potter" episode, where magic became real and guest starring JK Rowling. Jesus. And the Doctor meanwhile turned into the trendy geography teacher who always knew what was going on, never had a worry, and had 2 expressions - smug or wide eyed. His finale was a typically painful affair, spewed from Davies' backside and loaded with nonsensical drivel as everyone wondered what Timothy Dalton was thinking, the climax of which saw Tennat simpering, " I don't want to go..". On that pay I bet you didn't, now piss off. Early indications for 2010 are rosy, new boy Matt Smith under real writer Steven Moffat looks a good fit, although his penchant for shouting Geronimo is a littlle worrying. Watch this space..

Best game featuring a turntable based peripheral

Perhaps surprisingly the winner for me in this heavily populated gaming genre is Freestyle Games' DJ Hero. With a solid deck in the box, a set list of such quality I need to get it on my Ipod, and game play so intense there will be whole generations of wannabe DJ's with massive right arms and an affinity for flickering colourful patterns. A true innovation that is a start to what I hope will be a massively successful series, the joy of decks is alive and well. DJ battles over Xbox live prove a hit and miss affair - poor losers are prone to ditching when the tunes not going their way, but when it works, its a blast. Pure toe tapping, carpal tunnel inducing goodness.

Best phone that wasn't an I-phone

Slightly biased as I didn't do a whole lot of exhaustive testing, but the winner here is, my new phone, the HTC Hero phone. Its a lovely bit of kit, but I mention it here because of its awesomeness in the pocket gaming arena. Thanks to a healthy homebrew community, the android phone can play existing collections of roms for all of your old favourites from the Nes, Megadrive, Super Nes, master system and more. Duckhunt is now a regular fixture on mine, yes it supports the lightgun games. The caveat for the freedom of distribution is you must own any rom you download, otherwise its just bare-faced piracy. Luckily my games collection is extensive, but now they come with me in my pocket..

So that was 2009, but what of 2010?? Well, there's plenty afoot , but for now, lets just make do with..

Most hotly anticipated film of 2010

The only film on my radar, obliterating all others, is this remarkable looking monster from Christopher Nolan. What. Is. This? Not since the Matrix has there apparently been a film of such broad vision that we knew so little about. One of those rare cinematic experiences where you cannot know what you are going to see, you have to see it for yourself.



Most hotly anticipated game of 2010

With a solid 11 months til the appearance of Natal, I’ll have to come up with something else to look forward to in the meantime. There are a few things that spring to mind, most of them sequels disturbingly, all though 2009’s finest were mostly sequels too come to think of it. So there’s Mass Effect 2, Battlefield BC 2, Bioshock 2 lets hear it for the 2’s! Also Heavy Rain will finally fall, and I am very interested to see how that turns out, will it be the catalyst to the final PS3 purchase? No I'm still pretty sure the Last Guardian will see to that, and that remains one of my most eagerly anticipated games ever. But as we’ve covered it elsewhere, lets pick something new.. hrmm, ok, how about Metro 2033. From a team composed largely of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R crew, and set in the crumbling metro/bomb shelter under Moscow, this ruskie apocalypse game is set to be right up my proverbial. That said, I will miss the open fields and the melancholy trees of Stalker-ville, so maybe I should just opt for the imminent S.T.A.L.K.E.R instalment, call of Pripyat. Means I’ll need to upgrade my rig though, damn..




There's plenty more to look forward to of course, but what are you hoping to get out of 2010? Tell me now!

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Review: Avatar

After a very, very long time coming, the most hotly anticipated film of recent memory has finally landed. 14 years gestation and awaiting the technology to sufficiently catch up to him, James Cameron has unleashed his “Dances with Smurfs”, amid a climate of fear and trepidation that the hype had outrun the reality of the project, and that this would be Ferngully with thundercats. The screenings of sections of footage in cinemas around the world a couple of months back did little to allay people’s fears, instead fuelling the fire and the backlash to fever point, before anyone had even seen the finished product; in many peoples books Avatar looked set to be the biggest cinematic misstep of all time. Me though, I never had a doubt. Not a one! And my blind faith/stubbornness has been vindicated by what I saw in my local Imax cinema, and indeed again in a regular cinema later on. Avatar is mindblowingly impressive. Brain scramblingly beautiful. Thought shreddingly groundbreaking, and many other hyperbolically italicised plaudits. While it’s not going to be getting any awards for its script, or in places, it’s acting, it undoubtedly sets the bar ridiculously high in terms of what’s visually possible in cinema. An utterly compelling alien world is up there on screen for us to marvel at, and is so detailed, so convincing that you will want to take your holidays there. Even if you’re not much of a sci-fi fan, you really should give serious thought to entering the world of Avatar. Some spoilers follow..

It’s 2154 and Sam Worthington’s Jake Sully is finding a new lease of life. After an apparent run of fairly abysmal happenings; he is a marine in a wheelchair after an injury, and his twin brother has just been murdered, he is offered a unique opportunity for a new life. His brother you see, was a scientist involved in a very special project – an attempt at diplomatic relations with an alien species. Earth, referred to in passing as a dying world, is undertaking a mining mission on a distant planet’s moon, where the impossibly valuable and dubiously monikered, 'unobtanium' is abundant, and there the alien natives are causing bother for the intrepid miners. The air is toxic and every attempt to relate to the tree dwelling savages has pushed them further away, making Pandora the most hostile environment in the universe, with the exception of Oxford street on Christmas eve. The less than immediately obvious solution is to grow human/native hybrid bodies, the titular Avatars, which can then be remotely controlled by a human ‘pilot’ from the safety of a pod back at base. Because the Avatars are both hugely expensive to make, and need to be a grown from your DNA – Jake is a perfect fit for his dead brother’s which would otherwise have gone to waste. With not a lot else on his plate, off he jets on a six year cryo ride to the other side of the galaxy, and Pandora.

Despite a chronic lack of training or knowledge, Jake drops into the programme with aplomb – Sigourney Weaver’s Grace is the project task master and is none too pleased about having a trigger happy marine on her team- her protests fall on the deaf ears of the big cheese at the top, the fastidious Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) who views Sully as a lucky save. “lucky he had a twin who wasn’t a dental hygienist” he remarks, making fairly good sense. So in his new avatar body, and by various mishaps in the jungle, Jake quickly finds himself among the natives who, thanks to several dubious ‘signs’ from the local deity, agree to teach him their ways. Specifically, he is set to be taught by the chiefs daughter who found him, the confusingly hot Neytiri. From here on it’s all learning local custom and the deep connection (literally) they have to the forest, while at the same time reporting back to the evil human taskmasters. For Jake has in secret agreed to feed tactical information to the mad marine Colonel Quarritch and Ribisi that can help bring down the creatures when the time comes, these villainous types having a totally separate, and uniformly evil, agenda to Sigourney et al, who remain firm Naaviophiles. If you’ve seen the trailer, you know where this is going – it’s no surprise to learn that by the final act, Jake has firmly switched sides, fallen in love with the chiefs daughter, is fighting the increasingly aggressive and encroaching invaders and generally being heroic and alien, flying about the place on his alien dragon-steed. Most of the final act is one of the more spectacular extended battle sequences committed to film, but will Jake and the natives be able to fight off the technological terror of the humans with their shock and awe attacks? Ahem. What do you think?

So the plot is no great shakes, but it’s in the telling that Cameron has excelled. The Avatars themselves are simply extraordinary creations, and an incredible achievement of visual effect and performance capture. Each avatar looks like the actor portraying them, but are patently not them. For a start they’re about nine feet tall – the scenes where they’re depicted alongside the humans are quite startling, and for second, they’re bright blue and have pointy ears and tails. The amount of expression captured in each face is quite remarkable, and was achieved through pioneering techniques developed by Cameron, they are utterly convincing and convey emotion like no other CG creation ever seen – you may think Gollum was pretty good, and he was, but this is a whole new level we didn’t know was there, and the scary thing is it’s only going to improve. Zoe Saldana's Neytiri is particularly spellbinding - her face so full of emotion and expression I ended up wanting a nine foot tall blue girlfriend.

The other star of the show is Pandora itself, and in many ways is even more of an achievement than the avatars. The forest planet is essentially one massive rain forest, full of fantastical plants and creatures, but to think that it has all been created from scratch is simply incomprehensible. Impossibly high trees tower overhead, huge mountains float above the surface, by night the forest is alive with spectacular bioluminescence, the world is simply beautiful in its every detail. The creatures inhabiting it are no less impressive, from the massive rhino like creatures to the airborne pterodactyl-alikes, each one is extremely convincing in its execution, exhibiting perfectly plausible evolutionary traits, even if they are a bit too close too earthbound animals in some instances. Throw in the 3-D and you have a world that’s amazing to behold that you are right in the middle of, and that you will scarcely realise as you’re watching it, that each part of it simply doesn’t exist anywhere except on screen - it's only afterwards on thinking it through that the realisation hits - none of that was real? Impossible! Only marginally less impressive is the human side of the coin, with their mechanised walkers and huge flying aircraft carriers – each piece of hardware is as carefully designed as we’ve come to expect and looks amazing in action, particularly during the latter half of the film when they really get to strut their stuff.

There is however, no getting round the fact that the story is thin. It’s criticism of humanity, technology vs the environment and even parallels to the Iraq war are all barely disguised, and are on paper at least, supremely corny. The villains of the piece, the bad militaristic/capitalist humans, are more 2 dimensional than their CG opposite numbers, being incredibly simplistic comic book baddies, hell bent on exploiting the uneducated tree dwelling native idiots. It's almost insulting to suggest that after such vast leaps forward in technology that society would have advanced so little morally to leave Ribisi so unable to comprehend what the native's problem with him tearing up their home might be. The Naavi meanwhile are portrayed as wise, spiritually rich and morally unimpeachable, and Jake abandons his old human life with zero consequence or regret. It’s a typically guilt laden white man self flagellation, the alien nation here impossibly romanticised into examples of a perfect existence.

But then, as it is an alien nation, it can be romanticised as much as Cameron likes – it’s not really native Americans, it’s not really Iraq, it’s a bunch of blue aliens in a tree (we love tree houses around here after all), and what Cameron has achieved is to be able to put you there unlike any previous attempt to immerse you in an alien world, and it’s a place you will want to visit again and again. You could argue the corniness of the plot almost enhances the experience, as anything more complex in terms of whose side we should be on might have lessened or connection to the world. I wouldn't personally argue that, but you could if you wanted to. What is certain though is that the amount of emotion Cameron manages to wring out of you as we watch Jake delve deeper into the culture is immense – the learning to fly sections in particular are simply breathtaking, and you will feel the outrage and the despair as the humans tear down the beloved trees though which the people speak to their dead ancestors. Oh yes you will. The fact that Jake’s real body lies helpless somewhere else while he’s off leaping though the jungle is also nicely exploited to dramatic effect, giving rise to some great nail biting moments, and the battles when they kick off are just amazing. But Cameron delights equally in the quiet moments, the plants of the forest, some little insect fluttering by, a raised eyebrow of a curious native - all so impeccably realised, how can this not be a documentary? Whether or not this will stand up to scrutiny at home is to be seen, but I want that DVD if just to see how the hell it was all done!

The fruits of Cameron's four year labour in terms of creating a living breathing world are onscreen for all to see, this film grabs you by the eyeballs, and sucks you straight into its world and keeps you there for 3 full hours - you'll be there at the end, cheering and shaking your fist at the screen, ready to sign up to the next freighter that will ship you out to Pandora. But, then you remember, we don't really have space travel yet and you're stuck on this drab little planet, and realise you have no choice but to go back to the front of the queue and buy another ticket to get back that wonderful place. Is this the game changer we had been promised? - absolutely - we are now at the point where technology can deliver things we've genuinely never seen before, and I for one am very excited to see where this takes us next. For now though, forget small steps, Avatar is one giant leap for mankind.

Treehouse rating

4/5

Out of this world

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Review: The Road

The road is long, with many a winding turn. Two statements that can’t readily be applied to this, the movie version of Cormac McCarthy’s celebrated novel, for clocking in at just over 110 minutes it's relatively short, and with nary a plot twist, or indeed a plot in sight, isn't terribly windy either, this Road is in fact a beautiful but flawed apocalypse movie. The apocalypse itself is almost incidental to McCarthy's novel, an exploration of humanity at its very end, following the travelling father/son duo on their wacky adventure across a decimated North America, and documenting their jolly encounters with travelling salesmen, entertainers and cannibals, and the film is no different. So no different in fact that you may emerge blinking into the colourful real world thankful that it is still there and just as colourful as you remembered, or perhaps, despite the excellent work by everyone involved, just thankful that the movie is over.

It was never going to be easy, bringing this one to the silver screen. McCarthy’s America is one where nothing grows, no birds sing, no squirrels gather nuts and the sun never, ever shines. The causal event of such devastation is only hinted at, here by subtle flashback – a nuclear war? A tumultuous natural disaster? Who knows. What is clear is that the world is dead. No animal save for man walks upon the earth, and humanity is its death throes. Those that remain some ten years after the event survive as they must in the brutal ash covered landscape. And it is here that our protagonists known only as the man (Viggo Mortensen) and the boy (newcomer Kodi Smit-Mcphee), travel south in search of, anything. Along the way they scavenge and survive, and occasionally run into other survivors – typically tense affairs when the majority of strangers want to eat your legs – and that is literally the entirety of the plot.

What the book, and to a less successful extent the film, try to gauge, is the capacity of man for good and evil. The man and boy are the self professed “good guys” – who would never eat another person no matter how hungry they were – but of course each encounter with another party, a punctuation in the monotonous silent crawl south, explores how good the man really is, and what lessons he is passing onto his son. An early encounter with a rather mad-max-esque hick ends abruptly with a bullet to the head in the name of protecting the boy – fair enough you might say, but later run-ins see a harsh punishment doled out to a would be thief (watch out for an overly-chubby-for-the-role Michael Kenneth Williams Omar fans!) and the man’s fury tempered by the merciful son – has he learned good lessons? I don’t know, I’d say he wouldn't last five minutes with such a trusting nature, honestly has he learned nothing?? But then that's the point, the morality on display in extraordinary circumstances; we’ll all come away with a different take on how we might believe ourselves to behave in such a position.

But the trouble is, the book is good for such reflection, for such melancholy daydreaming, but the film is something else. A book you can put down, or look up from and surround yourself with the warmth of reality. Here we are locked in the barren grey silence of it all for the duration. And this would be no bad thing, if it weren’t so slavishly tied to the book's content. Of course it never really had a choice in the matter – fans of the novel would be liable to self immolation if an additional sentence of spoken dialogue or scene with a shopping mall were added, so it can’t be held at fault for it, but the fact remains this is a very slender narrative. As the pair make their way south, the man’s health gradually declines, and the ultimate question of what will happen to our offspring we leave behind us raises it’s ever present ugly head. It is an interesting conundrum, and makes for some genuinely tense moments during some particularly grisly encounters with the logical conclusion of life at the end of days, but can’t sustain itself into what we might consider a cinematic plot.

It falls then to the acting, and fortunately, this is where The Road triumphs. Viggo is, as ever, hypnotically great. Appearing half dead for half of the film, he brings a natural sensitivity to the role of the doting father, carefully tutoring the boy in methods of survival, while simultaneously marvelling at how little he understands, born as he was at the start of the “event”, about the world before the devastation. “You think I’m from a different world don’t you?” he croaks at one point, as indeed he is. He treads the finest of lines throughout the film between morality and brutality, motivated to good and bad only by his boy, his emotional and physical decline throughout is both touching and painful to watch. The boy meanwhile is also excellent, although the “look Papa!” wore thin after about five minutes. Supporting cast members, thin on the ground as they are, are all very well played, especially a brilliant turn from an almost unrecognisable Robert Duval as the old man, and a buck toothed cameo from Hilcoat favourite, Guy Pearce.

Speaking of which, The Road is a difficult proposition to quantify. While being on the one hand superbly made, diligently shot and impeccably acted it is simultaneously grey, flat, depressing and dare I say it, a little boring. Obviously one does not expect action adventure from such a movie, yet there is so little life in the lens that it fails to excite on a fundamental level. The barren stills of There will be Blood never failed to capture the imagination, no matter how little was happening in the frame, same for other “quiet” movies like Walkabout or Flash Gordon. But the Road is as drained of passion as the picture is of colour – it feels as tired as it’s ailing protagonists, who while excellent in themselves never really feel connected. That sense of disconnection may well be deliberate, but it only serves to undermine our relation to the characters. The clipped, dry dialogue of the book is retained here, and off the page feels cold and distant. Do I really give a monkeys if these two don’t make it through the relentless bleakness? Why delay the inevitable? Of course, this again is a central tenet of the story, as is nicely illustrated by Charlize Theron’s rather harrumphy exit from their lives some years earlier, did she have the right idea in saving herself all this greyness?

Despite all the ambiguity, I would recommend the Road to those of a reflective and melancholy nature as it does provide a morbidly-emotionally gruelling couple of hours. To those of you of an excessively exuberant and effervescent disposition, you should probably see it too as you’re pissing us all off with your relentlessly cheerful attitude. I wouldn’t recommend it to you however if you’re expecting Mad Max or Dennis Hopper with an eyepatch, there are no gyrocopters here. What is here is a thoughtful and tender meditation on life and death, in a realistically stylised vision of the end of days. An essayist's study of what it means to be human, and after everything has passed, what it means to be a good human, all told through a brown lens with the odd cannibal thrown in for good measure.

The Road is released in the UK on 8th January

Treehouse Rating

3/5

Armageddon outta here

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Review: Paranormal Activity

The marketers of indie flick Paranormal Activity must’ve had a helluva time with this one. A no-budget, skeleton cast and crewed horror spook-em up written and directed by newcomer Oren Peli, very much in the vain of Blair Witch and REC, clips from the footage probably didn’t lend themselves well to trailers. Which is presumably why the early trailer mostly consisted of massive banners quoting reviews; “you will never sleep again”, “you will poop you pants” and so forth they cried (both of which are a bit of an exaggeration) and the current trailer is in the style of the film itself, documenting an audience's terror in lovely night vision as though the main protagonist dusted himself down and kept on filming. And oh, how they scream, oh how they jump. Yes it’s the classic first person “found footage” scare-fest riding on the wave of some quite novel marketing buzz, this time though happily offering a semi-plausible reason as to why the protagonists might continue filming instead of putting down the camera and picking up a bat – a) they’re documenting spooky happening in their house, b) you can’t hit a ghost with a bat stoopid. Also, this footage has been found, and then some thoughtful soul has kindly edited it into a nice sub-90 minute package, and in so doing have crafted a highly competent little creepshow that delivers some genuine chills that will stay with you well after you leave the cinema and crawl back to your safe, dark little bed. Um.., what was that sound..?

The footage follows Micah and Katie, and handsome young couple living in a nice little house in a nice little area. They have a pool and everything. Micah has invested in a tasty new camera to document what’s been happening in this suburban cul-de- sac. It’s a blindingly simple conceit, and is executed brilliantly - the early scenes are utterly plausible, the pair of unknowns being extremely convincing as a happy couple, screwing around with Micah’s new toy and each other, and not taking the whole ghost thing too seriously. And so, they document their lives, setting the camera on a tripod in the corner of the bedroom to watch for spooky happenings while they sleep, in a static shot that we will come to dread, and generally creeping themselves out during the day by watching the footage we have just watched “live”. Things start off at a crawl and gradually ramp up. A door moving by itself, some strange banging sounds – the kind of thing we generally experience now and again, adding to the paranoia you’ll feel on returning home after viewing. But the haunting increases in intensity and violence as the days go on, culminating in a – well, I couldn’t possibly say how far it goes, but you may need to take something/someone to hold onto. It emerges Katie has been followed by this haunting for most of her life, and this demon, so sayeth the obligatory psychic expert who pops in for tea, is in some way connected to her - there's no point in running away. And so they don't, and despite at times wanting to, neither do we.

There was a real risk this could have turned into an episode of some TV ghost hunting nonsense with two nitwit protagonists jumping at noises and generally being dull and occasionally screaming at the camera. The horror, when it kicks in in earnest however, is quite dramatic, and after the gentle, lolling introduction, it comes as quite a shock when things get real. Soon the haunting is being really very creepy, and the night scenes become little wars of attrition where we fear the worst and are forced to watch helplessly as the pair try make it through the night, their fragile bodies at the mercy of whatever is stalking in the darkness; we all need sleep after all, and playing on this vulnerability, you really may have trouble dropping off the first night after you watch it. It taps into something quite primal that gets those neck hairs upright just thinking about it - that there might be something just behind your head right now - "I can feel it breathing on me" gasps Katie. Eu, creepsville!

The pacing of the film is in fact both its greatest strength, and ultimately it biggest flaw.While the slow early scenes build up gradually, making it all the more effective when things kick off properly, the movie is not well balanced as a whole. Much like a nervous teenager (if you’ll excuse a rather crass analogy), it warms you up with a lot of perfectly skilful foreplay, but then, just when things start getting really interesting, it makes a clumsy headfirst dash for the finish line. Once we’d got to the meat, I wanted more scares, more action! There were plenty of nice low budget places it could have gone, and that I assumed it would go, given the snail’s pace it had been building us up at, but instead it was all over in a flash, and left me feeling a bit, well, unfulfilled.

That said, this feeling is all testament to how well the near zero budget has been used, the special effects that are in there are extremely well done. Subtle and effective, they really manage to set the nerve endings jangling, and the audience I watched it with were full of gasps and moans and the sounds of straining one involuntarily emits when girding oneself for an impending inevitable shock. “Less is more” is the mantra here – you’ve never before heard such a dramatic reaction from an audience to a light turning on in a distant room, and some brilliantly used time-lapse shots inspired nervous giggling and under breath swearing aplenty – it’s enough to make you sleep with one eye open – and don’t think having someone sleeping nearby will help. Much of the terror stems from great sound design – a low rumble and footsteps can be infinitely more effective than a CG beastie, and of course it helps that our two protagonists, on whom the whole film hangs after all, are both superb to the bitter end - although S1nner found Micah to be a bit irritating.

So it’s all very effective; chilling, nerve wracking and manages to stay with you afterwards, so it must be, as the hype suggests, a classic horror film right? Well, yes and no. It should certainly be seen, and if you are to see it, it should be at the cinema surrounded by a jumpy audience, for what is here is top rate. But ultimately it's so threadbare, so lightweight, it cannot stand up to comparison next to “real” films of the genre. Not to be dismissive of Peli’s massive achievement of getting such a small picture to the big screen, but at the end of the day Paranormal Activity is really little more than a ghost train, a spook house – a cheap carnival thrill. For me, the half baked ending brought the proceedings to a close in a disappointingly abrupt spasm of terror that may have been pleasing at the time, but looking back you can’t help but feel if it had been just a little bit more fully cooked, it could’ve been a bona-fide knee trembler. But hey, everyone still loves the ghost train right? So hop on, enjoy, get home and leave the light on.

Paranormal Activity is released in the UK on the 25th November.

Treehouse rating

3/5

No really, what was that sound?

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Review: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Despite what Michael Jackson would have us believe, This is, in fact, it. This is Gilliam’s shot at the big time. Never mind the fact that he is one of the most brilliantly inventive, dedicated and passionate film makers ever, this is his last chance to show those money hogging, suit wearing bitches, that he can get bums on seats too. And I hope he does – I know a lot of people who have been to see this film, the type I wouldn’t imagine typically seeing a Gilliam film. Sure they came away with a predictable reaction – it was a bit weird – but they saw it, and enjoyed it.

But no doubt, a sound analysis: weird it is, as wonderfully weird as we’ve come to expect from Gilliam. A sprawling heap of wacky ideas and twisted notions, this is essentially his imagination made flesh, his brains scooped out and sloshed about onscreen in an orgy of colour and beauty, and when inside the titular imaginarium, it’s most analogous with his cartoons from Monty Python. The tale itself really is somewhat of a bafflement though, perhaps even more than is usual for Gilliam. Its a beautifully befuddling and warm fairytale about imagination and story telling, that is undoubtedly his finest film for years.

We’re in modern day London, announces the oddly medieval onscreen script, a weirdly tall and narrow horse and cart pulls through the darkened rainy streets. The show, for it is such, pitches up outside a busy nightclub where drunken revellers are spilling onto the street. The rickety cart opens and unfolds to reveal that perennial Gilliam favourite; a shabby flea circus theatre, ancient and ramshackle. Onstage the pitiful band of the immortal Dr Parnassus and his followers try to tempt the revellers with their fantastical tales. Parnassus sits motionless in a trance while his crew spin a wistful tale. Straight away the conceit is clear – the world has left these performers behind, the drunken revellers don’t care for stories or imagination and after a boozy bust up Valentina, Parnassus’ long limbed daughter, is chased through the stage mirror to the back of the stage. Except of course these travelling oddballs are the genuine article and the mirror in fact leads into the recesses of Parnassus’ entranced mind. Inside the imaginarium, reality is what you make it, and so each journey within is never the same twice. The reveller quickly meets a sticky end inside for reasons that become apparent later.

And so off they trot, after giving the dopey filth the slip for the missing pisshead, to find another pitch to tell their tales and expand some minds again. The crew is four strong. There’s Parnassus himself, Valentina, Anton – the downtrodden dreamer madly in love with Valentina, and Percy, Vern Troyer’s even-smaller-than-a-midget coachmen/advisor. Together they roll around the streets of London looking for punters to enthral with their stories, and to guide to blissful transcendence from their everyday lives through Parnassus’ fantastical imaginarium, but clearly times are tough. Valentina dreams of escape. Anton dreams of Valentina, and Parnassus simply dreams. And drinks.

Also, even more trouble is afoot, for it emerges that Valentina’s 16th birthday is approaching and Parnassus’ very long history is about to catch up with him. The story is gradually revealed throughout, but much is clear from very early on – a shadowy figure displays an unhealthy interest in Valentina and Parnassus knows him well. A thousand years ago, when he was a young monk (!) Parnassus had a little run in with a moustachioed Tom Waits with a knack for magic and a penchant for gambling. This was, he tells Valentina, the first time he struck a bet with the Devil. The good Doctor was locked in battle with Mr Nick to see who could save or destroy the most souls through offering simple choice to the folk who entered his imaginarium, a bet which Parnassus won and gained his immortality – which of course turned into a curse as times changed and he and his stories became ancient and irrelevant. But back to Valentina, and many hundreds of years later Parnassus meets his one true love, and Mr Nick crops up again to make another deal – in exchange for his youth given back to him allowing him to court this beautiful creature, Nick will claim any offspring they bear on reaching it’s 16th birthday. Well, the Doc agreed and lo and behold many many years of blissful marriage later, out pops Valentina. Oh dear – things are just looking up for Lily, and now it seems the Devil's going to cart her off for his amusement. But ever the gambler, Mr Nick, in the present now, makes another offer; if Parnassus agrees to resurrect their old favourite game - If he can "enlighten" five souls before Mr Nick, Valentina's soul can be saved.

The start of this new wager is marked by the arrival of a new member of the troupe – the enigmatic Tony (Heath Ledger). Found hanging by his neck under London Bridge, initially dead, he quickly comes back to life and becomes a central figure in the travelling show. Immediately an object of much fascination for Valentina and deep suspicion by the jealous Anton, Tony is a mysterious figure, never fully explained. Without a memory (so he claims) and with strange markings on his forehead and apparently some magic of his own, he tags along with the show, seemingly unfazed by the enchanting secrets behind Parnassus’ mirror, and together they set about saving souls and ultimately Valentina’s. But his murky past cannot remain hidden and as the competition hots up it becomes clear that Valentina's soul is at the mercy of her own choices, just like everyone else's.

So there is a plot. That is it. It is weird, no doubt – fantastical and imaginative and where anything can happen and does. At the heart of it is the notion explored in the early flashback scene, where the young Parnassus first meets Mr Nick. In it he explains that the monk's purpose is to tell the eternal story - the idea being that should they stop telling it, the world will cease to be. Nick proves that wrong by sucking their voices from their mouths. See, he croaks, we're all still here. Ah but, rebutts Parnassus, someone somewhere else in the world is telling the story, and so here we remain. Brilliant. It’s no surprise to learn the story was co-penned by Baron Munchausen creator CharlesMcKeown; the script positively drips the Baron’s whimsy; an immortal (ish) protagonist, the notion that storytelling is as vital to humanity as breathing, the power of the imagination to alter our reality – these themes are all central to Parnassus.

Much of the focus has however been firmly on this being Ledger’s last film, so what of the scenes he didn’t complete where other actors step in to fill his shoes? Whenever Tony enters the imaginarium he takes on a different form, appearing as Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell, each portraying the different sides of Tony. This is introduced in such a natural and organic away it’s hard to imagine that it was never intended all along. It would be nice to say Ledger is a revelation, but he is just plain good. A charmingly likeable aspect to what turns out to be a more complex character than we initially realise, much of his performance was to his credit improvised, and it is undoubtedly a solid one. The turns by the guest Tony's are all equally enjoyable, each bringing out a different aspect of a character.

Gilliam's focus looks to have been elsewhere however as he has clearly found a bit of a muse in Cole. While she too never blows us away with her acting chops, being as she is, just about passable, she is simply fascinating to look at, and Gilliam frequently seems unable to tear his lens away from her extraordinary face. Special mention must also be made of course of Tom Waits, who should probably always be cast as the Devil. His portrayal as the playful, whimsical Prince of Darkness is magnificently funny, as is Plummer's boozy old immortal himself.

The imaginarium itself is beautifully realised – vast in its scope, its juxtaposition to the drab real world is jarring, so full as it is of colour and mad ideas propped up on wacky notions. At times it descends into pure Monty Python territory, a Ben and Jerry landscape with chorus lines of dancing policemen – you half expect a giant foot to descend from the heavens to squash a villain. That said, the real world, relatively drab as it is, is made quite lovely too, London looking better than ever. As he did for New York in the Fisher King, in Gilliam’s London magic and mystery lurk in every nook and litter strewn alley. Quite how he makes these ramshackle existences so appealingly beautiful is beyond me.

Some more logical types may find the obscurity of the tale frustrating. Tony’s origin is never fully explained, and it is fair to say that he is a contradictory character – at once seemingly genuinely committed to helping Parnassus win the bet and saving Valentina, while at the same time (or at least in the final act) revealing his dark side of twisted morals and dodgy past. Does he deserve the ending he is met with? Not on the basis of what we see – but is this morality tale half the point? – that we are a bundle of contradictory impulses and notions eternally at odds with one another, and we will ultimately get what’s coming to us no matter what we do? No idea! Answers on a postcard please. What’s clear is that this isn’t the kind of movie in which one should expect the answers to be signposted, for essays could, and will be, written about what it's all about. It would be fair to say though that it does somewhat lose it's way in the final act, where the mystery descends into plain old head scratching.

But frankly sod all that, if you wanted your film to make sense you should have gone to see This is It. Possibly a bad example. Anyway, Parnassus is at heart a Gilliam fairy tale, told in his inimitable style, as full of wacky, humorous imagination as the imaginarium itself. So if you happen to like a Gilliam fairytale, you should happily settle in for his best in recent memory.

Treehouse rating

4/5

I-mag-in-aaaaatiooonn..

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Review: UP

Pixar’s latest, after an interminable and, in this day and age, inexplicable delay, has finally drifted to these shores and happily I can report the wait was more than worth it. It’s been touted as their masterpiece, their finest film yet, but when a company’s output is of such a consistently high quality, it’s always bound to be a close run thing, and will more than likely come down to personal taste of whether you prefer lovesick robots, friendly sharks, or cantankerous old dreamers. “Up” though is certainly a real treat, full of action and adventure and typically brilliant characters, but as always, the laughs and thrills belie an unusually touching story, and a heartfelt message of finding friendship and redemption when least looked for. Aww.

The cantankerous geezer in question is Carl Fredricksen, who we join as a bespectacled tot in the 40’s, wide eyed in astonishment at the newsreel footage of the adventures in South America of intrepid explorer Charles Muntz. The young adventurer quickly runs into Ellie, a buck toothed tomboy who is as enamored by Muntz’s adventures as Carl, and so begins a lifelong love affair with adventure and each other. We skip through their lives together in an extraordinary montage. Forever the dreamers, they save to make their own way to south America following in the footsteps of their hero, to build their “clubhouse” atop Paradise Falls, but as with so many of our dreams and plans, they keep getting sidetracked to make way for more immediate needs. Before you know it, the pair are a grey haired couple, tragically childless and before they get a chance to make their trip together, Ellie dies, leaving Carl alone in the beloved house they shared, now surrounded by a building site. This is not, you’ll agree the usual fare for a kids movie. The montage is one of the most moving sequences seen on film in recent memory, establishing in one elegant sweep the whole raison d’etre for the main character and giving huge emotional weight to everything that follows. Yes he’s a grumpy old git, but in the context of his life and loss, you begrudge him not one moan. If only we could see the Pixar montages of real life old gits who annoy us.

If the whole thing sounds a bit heavy, things lighten up rapidly with the arrival or Russell, the wilderness scout on a quest to earn his assisting the elderly badge, with Carl firmly set in his sights as requiring assistance. Instantly adorable, the rotund camper is loved by everyone except Carl, cranky old curmudgeon as he is. Things come to a head when an incident with the encroaching builders means Carl is due to be shipped off to the retirement home and needs to think fast to avoid being dragged from his house. A balloon salesman all his life, the solution is obvious really. He attaches a million helium filled balloons to the grate of his fireplace, and floats his whole house off towards South America in a bid to fulfil Ellie’s dream. Only once airborne does he realize he’s inadvertently brought the impossibly cheerful Russell along for the ride and the pair quickly find themselves, through the magic of a Wizard of Oz style storm, actually at Paradise falls, but on the wrong side of the cliffs. A near crash landing leaves them stuck on the ground while the house floats overhead (a la “Adrift”), attached by just a hosepipe tied to Carl (a la “Diehard”), and an adventurous walk ensues. Along the way the pair pick up some more companions, Kevin the colorful chocolate loving bird – if you can class a 12 foot multicolored monster as a bird, and of course, Dug the Dog. An instant classic, Dug is the dopey mutt with a translator collar that gives him voice – anyone who has ever imagined what their dog is thinking will probably recognize a lot of his lines, and so amusing is he as a character it may prompt you to throw “squirrel!” into many conversations. Try it at work, see what happens. The quartet get themselves into all sorts of bother when it emerges that Kevin is in fact the monster of Paradise Falls that Muntz was seeking all those years ago, and in fact still is, aided by his pack of speaking hunting dogs, of which Dug is the abject failure, being as he is soft and cuddly, while top dog “Alpha” and his ilk are all slathering bullies, albeit with hilarious malfunctioning voices. Yes once Muntz gets wind of Carl and his companions the race is on, and Carl has to make some tough decisions about where his loyalties lie; fulfilling his beloved Ellie's dream or looking towards the well being of his troublesome new companions.

This is perhaps Pixar’s most personal movie, dealing as it does with the biggest of issues; how we live our lives, the dreams we strive for that seem impossible to reach, and finding redemption and friendship in the last place you look. The relationship between the old man and the wilderness scout is subtle and complex; throughout we learn that Russell’s Dad is less than perfect, and Russell’s real motivation for getting his wilderness badges is to seek his approval. Likewise, as the story develops, Karl learns to let go of his dead wife’s dream, and move on to the next adventure; life goes on and so must he. Again, sounds terribly heavy, but remember this story is told in the context of thrilling action set-pieces interspersed with lashings of brilliant slapstick from the hapless Russell. And the talking dogs, don’t forget the talking dogs. UP does however manage to get itself a little tangled in the telling as a result. A lot of the plot itself hinges on the least interesting character, the gormless Kevin, and Muntz as a villain is no great shakes – I found myself equally sympathetic to that poor mad old geezer who after a lifetime of trying to restore his good name is vanquished and (dare I say it) murdered by these meddling invaders! Poor guy, so much for his dream.

Snagged strings aside though, Up is a delight. Full of imagination that is so natural it can almost get overlooked, this is a story about a man who with nothing to live for floats his house away with balloons. Brilliant. The film is visually fantastic, each character a lovingly crafted caricature, and the level of detail and artistry on display, brought to life by the subtly immersive 3D, is staggering. But as with any Pixar movie, the story is key, and on the whole they have another winner. From an unlikely and unusual subject matter, they spin a yarn with real emotional clout that has messages for every viewer of every age – an extraordinary feat in itself – but to twist it into a thrilling action adventure comedy? Masterful.


Treehouse Rating:

4/5

Another brilliant and touchi- SQUIRREL!!

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Avatar Day was a red letter day

There it was then. The full 20 minutes of footage in all its glory, on the big IMAX screen, in 3D. The trailer for Avatar hit the net yesterday, and the backlash is already in full swing! A lot of "its not photorealistic enough" and "looks like an Xbox game" (clearly not gamers), but how many of 'em got to the cinema to check out the real deal? The future has been on its way for 14 years, so now is the time to ask, are we there yet?

We open with the self same footage I saw just last week, which remains as equally impressive on the jumbo screen as it did previously, and larger. But then, oh glory of glories, the new stuff. First up is Mr Worthington helping himself into the mind melding sarcophagus while verbally sparring with Sigourney Weaver – they don’t seem to be getting on too well, could it be his cocky, brash machismo is rubbing her up the wrong way? Or perhaps the right way? Anyway, he’s in the tank, so let's see some Dileep Rao playing minority report with his snazzy Apple notepad, as the link between marine and Na’vi is established- we need to go first person for this. Wooshing lightshow, then bam, out of focus doctors are staring into the lens. This scene is glimpsed in the trailer, and is amazing. Worthington is immediately having the time of his life. He can feel his legs and is up and wobbling about the place, to the dismay of the medics who just want him to touch his thumb to his fingers. “This is great” he grins. And it looks it too. The creature is there in the room, while the medics, dwarfed by the blue giant, scurry around him. Remarkable.

Next up we’re in the jungle at night, Worthington is wrestling with an alien dog creature and is losing. Out of the dark leaps a semi naked Na’vi, firing arrow into the dog in midair. She takes out the rest of the pack in graceful, deadly movements, and the remainder retreat into the darkness whimpering as she snarls after them. She extinguishes Worthington’s torch with a curse, what a numpty, lighting a fire brand in a hostile jungle, and goes about putting one of the injured dog creatures out of it's misery. As he retrieves his torch from the pool, Worthington realises he has flawless night vision, and that the jungle is lit up all around him in gorgeous neon. Very pretty. Very alien.

Next, the scene directly following – Worthington and Zoe Saldana (for it is she) have their first tiff. He is trying to thank her for saving him. She is super pissed off at him for getting in trouble in the first place and needing her to kill the animals she did. Then why did you save me? “You have a strong heart – you have no fear”. Hmm first sign of sloppy romance (of course) or also an allusion to the fact that he’s a marine working a body that’s not his and he doesn’t really give two hoots if his face gets bitten off by space dogs? Regardless, the faces on the two protagonists are simply amazing, expressions and nuances so spot on, so detailed, they are looking more and more realistic.

Cut to the final scene. Worthington now seems to be part of a Na’vi tribe as Zoe is there, and there’s a bunch of other males there too. They are inching along a high precipice of a cliff face, and as the round the corner we see.. a flock of dragons basking on the rocks! Freaking big sabre toothed dragon things, all laid out on the cliff face, nesting like something out of Planet Earth, the leathery looking creatures squawk and roar, flapping away as the Na’vi approach. We learn they mean to capture these creatures, and that they use them as transport. Zoe has been teaching Worthington the tricks of the trade; he must make a bond between himself and the lizard to tame it. He approaches one that looks game, and prepares for the catch. One of the male Na’vi is mocking – “The moron's going to die” - ooh, 3D subtitles. The creature snaps at our boy, he dodges and leaps on its back, wrestling with it for control, but is thrown, nearly taking a spill off the impossibly high cliff as the nasty looking male jock roars with laughter. What a douche. Undeterred, Worthy leaps back up and then onto the back of the creature, this time pinning its head. We see the "bond" is literal – he grabs a tendril from the back of the creatures head, and his own pony tail, and holds the ends together – we see silvery nerve endings intertwine between them and they fuse together – the dragon going wide eyed and docile in a moment. Next they’re off, the first flight "seals the bond". The first flight is actually a bit of a nightmare, as the creature dive-bombs and tumbles through the air, the camera swooping after them in stomach lurching arcs. Worthy cant get the hang of flying, the creature smacking into the cliff face and falling several hundred feet, screechily protesting all the way – until he shouts “shut up and fly straight” and it simply does - he thinks it, it does it, then it's plain sailing all the way, and a chance to take in the beautiful panoramic landscape.


And then we’re into the wrap up reel. This followed the style of the trailer but there were a few more shots in there that are not, including an indescribably cool shot of falling debris – perhaps one of those floating mountains being destroyed and falling to earth? - and lots more of the epic action from the trailer, which we didnt get a sniff of in the proper footage. Boo.

Lets be clear, what I saw was astonishing. I’ve read an awful lot of hating on the nets today, mostly aimed at the trailer, and I honestly can’t understand it - just what were people expecting from a sci fi movie about aliens on another world? Ok, so you can tell the Na'vi are CGI, but only some of the time! In closeup especially, they are breathtakingly convincing, and at the very least, represent the pinnacle of computer generated characterisation. I thought the trailer alone looked great – impeccably gorgeous landscapes, again undoubtedly the most advanced CG ever seen, anywhere (FACT) but to see the world and characters in 3D, and on the big screen was something else. What these wizards have created is so rich and so gorgeous that I simply need to see this movie now. The imagination on display was astonishing and so well realised and incredibly immersive that claims about it being a watermark in cinema are probably spot on - bearing in mind JC certainly hasn't shown his full hand yet, the game is set to be well and truly changed. It seems in some camps expectation had been set so high, the reality has come as a bit of a downer. But it really shouldn't have as this is the closest anyone's come to fashioning another world onscreen, and the reaction may be more to do with the realisation it's going to be a movie about blue skinned aliens in a jungle. Some people are never satisfied.

The technology has been the focus since we heard about it, but watching the footage it became clear that what Cameron has been quoted as saying about the tech being advanced enough to “wave its own wand and make itself disappear” is totally true – all the CG and 3D will play second fiddle to the story and characters. The Avatars, despite being 8ft tall and blue, were completely believable, and the range of expression on their oddly feline faces was amazing– by the second viewing (did I mention I went twice?!) they didn’t look CG at all, but rather like familiar faces, each unique and remarkable. Imagine sitting through a whole film. We’re going to love these things.

But this is just me. Could you get tickets? Were you a part of Avatar day? What did you think? Revolutionary or Thundercats meets Ferngully?

If you need to see the trailer.. here it is!

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Review: District 9

District 9, like any good piece of cinema, will mean different things to different people. To some, it may offer a frank social commentary on the nature of bigotry and exclusionism. To others, the theme of exploitative capitalism taking advantage of the most vulnerable societal groups for financial gain may ring truest. To others still, this is a film about big focken ray guns exploding soldiers, aliens pulling peoples heads off and enormous robotic mechanoids tearing the place up. What it is in fact, lies somewhere in the narrow spaces between these closely related themes, and despite clearly being influenced by several movies and video games before it, District 9 is a film that feels wholly original and thrillingly ballsy. An unusual premise, an offbeat leading man, a unique presentation, all blend together to deliver a bona-fide instant sci-fi classic, and one of the best films of the year.

Exposition is the bane of a film with a concept. Here it is dealt with neatly, most of the first act viewing in a documentary style, we are treated to news clips and snippets of interviews with locals and experts, recapping the last 30 years of this alternate history. It is 2010, and a massive alien spaceship hangs over the city of Johannesburg, where it has hung motionless and inactive for 28 years. The aliens it carried were found to be helpless and malnourished, mysteriously unable to take control of their ship. A field hospital established directly below the ship to tend to the sick creatures has in 28 years evolved into a slum. The aliens are now a part of the community, but untrusted, unwanted and a burden on the human societies around them. Derisively nicknamed prawns, the creatures are insectoid with a certain seafoody quality to their faces and speak with a whirr of clicking and glottal stops, subtitled for our benefit. They are second class citizens, feeding on the waste of the humans, excluded from society and exploited by the Nigerian gangs set to profit from their helplessness. For with them, the aliens brought technology. They have a plethora of futuristic guns and weapons which rather than using to enslave humanity, they trade with their exploiters for cans of catfood, an irresistible delicacy. The catch is, no humans can use the tech, as it operates on a biological level with the aliens, and only they are able to make it work.

All of this is covered in the first 10 minutes, and serves to create a setting that is utterly authentic in every detail, and a premise that is totally believable. And yet for a film with such big ideas, it remains very much a story about characters and heroes. Our unlikely candidate is Wikus Van De Merwe, a bureaucrat for MNU, the private company that has been appointed custodians of the aliens and District 9. He is, in the early scenes, more akin to Steve Carrel’s version of David Brent. He relishes the attention lavished on him by the documentary crew filming him, wisecracking and mugging for the camera, as he prepares to execute the operation to serve notice on the million strong residents of District 9, that they are being evicted and moved to District 10, out of sight and mind of Jo'burg. He and his private army, MNU ominously being the world's largest private arms manufacturer, roll in to District 9 to get a million alien signatures to legalise the controversial movement of these refugees. It’s not a difficult leap to read the allegorical theme at work here, as the uncomprehending alien, living in his ramshackle hut, is presented with the eviction notice by the cheerful, patronising Wikus, encouraging him to sign here please, knowing full well he is committing the alien to what he later confesses is little more than a concentration camp. The operation is unsurprisingly met with resistance which at times slides out of control, and many aliens are gunned down. At this point however, most viewers will be on board with Wikus. The aliens are after all bottom feeding prawns. Worthless and legion, we feel little sympathy for their plight.

The film is quick to turn the tables on us and our reluctant hero however as during the search of one of the many “residences” for weapons and contraband, Wikus stumbles across an innocuous vial of liquid we, moments before, saw some of the aliens carefully cultivating from salvaged alien technology. The unfortunate Wikus is sprayed by this liquid, which sets in motion an unprecedented change in his demeanour and outlook, and he quickly learns to see things from the alien’s perspective. His journey takes him from top dog at MNU to their most wanted fugitive, and he finds himself on the wrong end of the human/alien relationship, learning the hard way the extent of the human’s exploitation of the prawns. Suddenly the most valuable biological resource on the planet, Wikus manages to escape the monstrous clutches of MNU and with nowhere to turn takes refuge in District 9. Here he strikes up an uneasy alliance with one of the aliens from earlier who was, it emerges, gathering the mysterious liquid for a much bigger purpose, and it becomes clear that getting it back from MNU is the key to both their futures.

The Wikus character, played by newcomer Sharlto Copley, is unique in film history and his performance is, in short, a revelation and will no doubt achieve him cult status. He starts the film as the office pest, irritating and unsympathetic to the plight of the aliens, yet by the final act he is an action hero and alien champion. His priorities evolve as much as he himself does during the course of the movie, his overriding motivation suddenly on his love for his wife which he pursues ruthlessly, assisting the alien cause where their needs overlap with his own. His plight is fairly harrowing, and he is really put though the grinder by both MNU and the scary Nigerian gangster kingpin, who has his own equally disturbing reasons for wanting a piece of him. By the end however, his understanding of the bigger picture means he is selflessly fighting in the alien corner sacrificing himself and his happiness for their cause, which to you and I, means Mech walkers, taking on hordes of heavily armed mercenaries, with enormous alien guns. Oh yes, did I mention the final act is an orgy of violence and gunplay? This might seem out of place given the lofty notions being explored in the first half of the film, but is in fact perfectly suited to what is after all, a pure sci-fi movie at heart. Several unfortunate marines and gangsters experience the zappy end of the alien technology with pleasingly messy results, and be sure to keep an eye out for the appearance of Half Life’s gravity gun, brilliantly used to kill a man with a flying pig. Genius.

The effects generally throughout District 9 are nothing short of amazing. The massive mothership hangs nonchalantly in the background of many shots as though it has always been there. The aliens themselves are fascinating to watch, being completely rendered in CG, they are especially effective in close up, and throughout the course of the film, we become quite attached to two particular alien characters, thanks largely to their amazing portrayal – they move from being the insectoid drone Wikus initially presents them as, to intelligent and emotional individuals that you will feel more concern for than most of the human characters. And as mentioned, when the action hots up, Blomkamp doesn’t hold back, with some of the most thrilling action sequences to grace the screen all year.

It’s not without it’s unanswered questions mind, but these only serve to deepen the mystery rather than undermine it. The origin of the alien ship for example is never fully explored, nor why they are unable to help themselves more than they do - a brief reference to their being "the workers" and therefore more docile and compliant explains away the alien's less than proactive demeanour. Also, the lack of any kind of international intervention in the affairs of District 9 is arguably conspicuous in it’s absence, and one can’t help shake the feeling that such a camp would be surrounded by 20 foot steel walls, with slightly fewer civilian humans living in it selling cat food to the aliens.

To even be considering flaws like this however, is simply testament the realism the film achieves in its portrayal of the situation. District 9 is a bold sci-fi movie, unique in its vision and presentation, and full of such a mixed bag of ideas and themes, you simply cannot tear your eyes off the screen. The way it segues from docu-drama to action romp is masterful, and the achievement of the film as a whole is nothing short of remarkable; at once thought provoking, amusing, vomit inducing, emotionally wrenching and pulse-racingly exciting, District 9 is a strong contender for film of the year. It happily draws on elements from sci-fi history like Alien Nation, The Fly and Half life, but goes on to blend them in a truly unique and refreshing way. Thank the lord Peter Jackson recognised the brilliance of what Blomkamp et al were aiming for, as without him, District 9 might have been perceived as too risky or offbeat to be a success, and ended up on some production office shelf. As it is, it ranks as one of the best sci fi flicks ever, and is a definite must see.


Treehouse Rating

5/5

Focken amazing

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Avatar Impressions: seven minutes of heaven

So, the climactic highlight of day two of Empire magazine’s Movie-con was seven all too brief minutes of James Cameron’s Avatar, a piece of film history in the making I have dreamed of seeing for years. This was a portion, or little under half, of what was shown at Comic-con. Bit of a bummer, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers, and considering “Avatar day” and the reveal of the full bevy of footage, is some mere four days away, beggars can’t be impatient little whiners either.

So what the hell did we see, and does it as promised, beckon a new dawn of cinema into our lives? Needless to say, spoilers (of sorts - for purists anyway) follow. The clips were introduced by Cameron himself (oncsreen), but we couldn't hear what he was saying for the blood pounding in our ears..

The first clip shown is a military briefing. Pure Cameron, he’s made a movie with marines – first good sign. These weren't the ruffnecks of Aliens though, all told they looked like quite a clean cut, nerdy bunch, nary a tatoo or disdainful sneer in sight - a crack team of librarians. The 3D is fairly immersive, bearing in mind this wasn’t even on an IMAX screen, good depth to everything and all is nice and sharp with no blurry overlap like I’ve seen in other 3D films. Is this just because I’m sitting directly in the centre of the row, or to do with the strangely heavy, 3D glasses I’m wearing? Who knows. These suckers were not the usual run of the mill glasses that get dished out at RealD movies though, boasting an IR sensor on the front that I've since learned allowed each lens to react to the light from the screen, darkening or brightening, ensuring the correct image is shown to the correct eye. The company that makes them are here if you're interested - Cameron approved 3D Tech.

But I digress, so we’re in the military briefing as Sam Worthington rolls in to the back of the crowd in his wheelchair. The scarred chief of security Stephen Lang is barking at the new recruits, a nasty looking four finger/claw rake across his head – definitely a beastie injury – explaining how outside, on Pandora, everything they encounter will try to kill them. “You may want to consider a trip to hell for some R&R after a tour on Pandora.” Oh dear. He explains his job is to keep them alive, but he quickly manages their expectations with the comforting rider that he won’t be successful with everybody. Oh very dear.

Cut to the action. We’re in a jungle. A lush, luminous alien jungle, and a massive rhino creature with a hammerhead shark appendage is roaring and smashing the vegetation up. Worthington’s avatar is the focus of it’s attention – a blue skinned, feline faced creature. This is what it’s all been about, in the moments when we see the avatar closely, I really wasn’t sure what I was looking at. It’s clearly CG, but with an incredible detail and texture to it. The skin on it’s face somehow looked more skin like than the regular CG effort. It’s face contorts and twists with fear and doubt as the Rhino thing continues it’s rampage. Others are nearby, Sigourney Weaver’s avatar is offering advice, explaining that he mustn’t shoot the angry creature, or run away. "what should I do, dance with it?". More of them are watching in terror, each unique, one with strangely expressive eyes set far apart on its face. The rhino thing gets really feisty, so Worthington does too, charging right back at the massive beast, waving his blue arms. It works, the creature is freaked, it stops its charge and displays itself like a peacock with frilly neck flaps and a big roar. Looks very cool. Worthington is encouraged, but we see behind him another threat has emerged, a shiny black, panther like creature, with a predator-like, flapping toothy face, and probably bad breath. The rhino clocks it, and turns tail. Worthington thinks it’s reacting to him – “That’s right, bitch!” he hollers imaginatively. Of course, the panther makes itself known, leaping over Worthington to see off the rhino, who has run back to it’s pack – yes there are several of them off through the undergrowth, before turning it’s attention back to Worthington. It’s sleek and muscular, black and smooth, like a cougar from some heavy metal nightmare. He asks of Sigourney, should he run from this one? The answer is equivocal; yes, run! He runs.

Cue a breathless and thrilling chase through the undergrowth which blurs by, all the while the sinewy black panther-thing snapping at his heels. It is fast and powerful, and very convincing in it’s movements, as is Worthington’s avatar, who leaps and pegs it through the forest, stumbling blindly to get away. He takes refuge under the roots of a large tree, the creature smashes and snaps at them, splinters and debris flying everywhere. Worthington finally tries to shoot the thing, his gun emitting meaty old school gunfire with nice tracer fire. No pew pew lasers here. It’s all to no avail though, as the creature fluidly whips it’s head into the burrow, snatches the gun right out of his hands. Oh bums. He makes a break for it, but the thing is on him in an instant, as he falls to the ground towards the lens, the thing is leaping in a glorious slow mo onto him, slathering jaws open wide – and the footage ends. We all start shouting. That was never seven minutes! Apparently it was.

So they show it again! - much to my delight, but sadly no additional footage was forthcoming, damn them. The whole thing was very impressive, but too damn short to really get a bead on. The CG was without a doubt, extraordinary – detailed and with realism not seen before, and we emerged unsure as to how much of the rain forest was also CG – probably all of it on reflection. I emerged itching to see the Avatar itself again in closeup, as the few brief still shots of their unusual faces had been the highlight – the emotion mo-cap was amazing in the brief snatches we saw of it, with extremely realistic expressions that differed totally from something like say, Beowulf, in that it didn’t really look animated. Hard to pinpoint how that was happening to be honest, could it be Cameron really has broken some kind of uncanny valley barrier by blending the mocap with 3D? The clip also raised a few plot questions. Like, my understanding was that the avatar's were necessary because humans couldn't set foot on Pandora, on account of it being so hostile. But why then are some of the wet eared recruits in the briefing going to die? Surely if your avatar gets eaten, you just pop out of your control pod, and fire up a new one? Or is it a Matrix dealie situation, where the body cannot live without the mind? Or do only a select few get to use the avatars, while everyone else has to take their chances in the jungle? Curiouser and curiouser..

Anyway, Avatar day is fast approaching, so we’ll soon get to see the full 14 minutes of footage, on the IMAX screen, just as God, sorry, Cameron intended. Stay tuned for a blow by blow write up on that badboy too, or better yet, get yourself to a screening for a glimpse of the future of cinema so we can compare notes.

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