COD4: The new sickness

I used to be a very sick person. I used to have an illness called Counterstrike. I first contracted the disease some 10 years ago shortly before I went to university, through chance and reckless curiosity. It was virulent. I found my whole outlook on life had to change to accommodate my affliction. I couldn't go out. I stopped calling my friends. My worried parents tried everything they could to take my mind off my condition, but nothing worked. Gradually though, over time, its hold on me has abated, letting me live my life again, although right up until this year I have been susceptible to violent relapses.

Now though, just as my convalescence was going so swimmingly, I have a new sickness. It is called COD4. Contracted over christmas, this condition has all the hall marks of counterstrike. Sweating. Violent rages and swearing. Compelling gunplay. Yes its got me good. Especially with a little something called prestige mode, xp is like crack to me now, feeding my illness. Bad (good?) news is, with new strains about to be released, I may continue to be debilitated by this cancer for a lot longer. Won't someone help free me and others from this condition? No don't bother, it's part of me now. I have to live the best I can.

But to the creators of this affliction, for yes, it was created, I say this:

Dear Infinity Ward

.

Can I please have:

• 5 new custom slots
• 10 new maps
• 20 new guns (including that sweet minigun)
• 60 new perks
• 80 new attachments
• 100,000,000 new challenges. Including ones for pistols.

Thanks!

Munial

PS: would it kill you to give people credit when they down a chopper? I mean, seriously, I need more xp.

Continue Reading..

RIP HD-DVD: we hardly knew ye

We've reached the end of the line for hd dvd then, bringing to a close 2 years of silliness, confusion and flogging of dead horses. This can only be a good thing for all of us, as confusion was the watchword for the whole situation. To walk into HMV and be greeted with two competing HD formats with no ostensible difference must have quite literally blown the minds of those who weren't in the know, leaving them shambling home like dazed zombie extras. What was the point of all that confusion? Nothing. Nada. We all knew in our hearts Blu-ray would best Hd-dvd in the end. How? The name of course. Anything with "ray" and a snappy spelling of Blue was bound to win. Besides, blue is a better colour than mauve.

So we can all rejoice now and rush out to buy a bluray player now right? I think not, for there are as I see it, two problems. Firstly, this whole format shift has come about 5 years too early for me and simply does not represent the quantum leap in quality, as say VHS to dvd did, that I deem necessary to warrant the repurchase of my film collection. Again. Decent dvd players will upscale my existing collection fine, and they'll be dirt cheap by the time I can afford a decent TV (thats the other problem). No I will most likely pick up a PS3 in about 2 or 3 years (assuming some games have come out for it by then - zing) as no doubt that will also be reasonably cheap by then, and I will of course have become generally more affluent and wealthy, natch.

But even without its warring opposite number, will bluray really dominate? Will we all make the leap? Everyone I know who owns one normally buys one bluray disc to "try it out" the retreats back to the shelves of cheap dvds, which "look great" anyway. They may get the players into people's homes, but will the format itself gain momentum? Presumably their extortionate prices will become more pallatable now the war is over, and I'll be forced to eat my doubts. Unless of course, the download model gets popular, as I personally suspect, it will - not with me though, I like to own things.

Anyway, rest ye well HD-DVD, like Artax before you; you gave it your best, but unlike him you probably won't be back. And for all you early adopters, fret not, ebay has gone berserk already, might as well get 'em in. And you can always take comfort in the fact that you own a bona fide piece of technological memorabilia. There, that feels better doesn't it?

Continue Reading..