Sunday, 14 February 2010

Mini Review: Chime

I’m not sure what it is that makes Xbox Live and music games such a good fit, but there it is, here comes another one. Brighton based Zoe Mode’s “Chime” popped up a couple of weeks or so back, and like Rez before it, is a unique, if less dramatic foray into interactive music games. It is a gorgeously simple and satisfying game, that is a lot easier to play than it is to explain. The player is presented with a silent grid into which you place blocks of various size and shape, in a Tetris stylee. All the while a “beat line” sweeps across the grid, which upon reaching your recently placed blocks , creates a sound. Fitting blocks together into rectangles creates “quads” which claims part of the grid for you as "coverage" – the aim of the game being to get 100% coverage of the board. These quads create musical phrases when the beatline hits them, and their complexity and point value is determined by how big you’ve managed to build your quad before it “expires”. As you play you gradually build the music track up and push it along through it's sections and verses. There's a bit more to it than that, but you can learn more at the game’s excellent website, or watch the trailer after the break.

All sounds a bit dry, but this is a bona fide little gem. The success or failure of such a game is always going to hinge on the music and how well its implemented, and here Chime is resplendent. While only 5 tracks are on hand, each is an auditory joy and provided by artists of real clout; we’ve got Lemon Jelly, a guy from Orbital , Mark Schulz (dunno him, but it’s a nice track, if the weakest) and er, Moby with a toe tapping working of electro pop “ooh yeah”. Crown jewel for me though is Brazil from Philip Glass – an epic orchestral reworking that’s all dramatic strings and woodwind, and wouldn't have sounded out of place on the Punch Drunk Love soundtrack. The interaction with the music throughout Chime is exceptional; you have real influence as you claim more and more of the game grid, starting gradually with plonky bloops and bleeps, gradually building the song up to tumultuous crescendos, all of which are seamlessly integrated into the gameplay, the rendition will vary each time you play it.


It’s no picnic either, it’s deceptively difficult to clear the board within the time limit, although with practice you can do this several times within a round. I found it initially difficult to shrug off my tetris mentality of fitting the shapes together, it’s not necessarily the best way to get the coverage you crave - those pesky quads won't go round corners, and it's easy to misplace a piece ruining your multiplier. The experience as a whole though is deeply relaxing, the music builds and builds, flutey trills and phrases bubble up as you put the quads together with hypnotic little visual flourishes, and before you know it the timer is running out and you’re cursing because you hadn’t noticed and you’ve only covered 98% of the board.

Even more remarkably for what is a fully formed, highly polished game, this is going on Xbox Live for a mere 400 MS points, or a little under £3.50 – an absolute steal which probably undervalues it – I’ve paid a lot more for a lot worse. Furthermore a portion of that goes to children’s charities via One Big Game Could this be the perfect game? Go buy it.


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Thursday, 28 January 2010

All hail the arrival of the iPad …

I haven’t seen so many geeks so excited about a gadget for an eternity (myself included). The Internet has literally been oozing with desire, rumour and conjecture about the iSlate/iTablet – and now we know … it’s the iPad. Not since the very first sex toy was revealed have people wanted to glide their sweaty hands over a piece of erm functional technology so badly. Shame about the name. Still, this can’t be a review since I haven’t managed to get my hands on one (yet). So, what’s all the hype about?

Well... let's have a look. What are we waiting for?!

Let’s be honest. The iPad is a sexy beast. It’s everything we have come to love about Apple. They make user friendly, innovative, functional sexy shit that makes other companies panic and run around like headless chickens trying to emulate Apple. My instant gut reaction is that I want an iPad and I don’t even know why! Apple claims it’s “The best way to experience the web, email, photos, and video. Hands down.” Wow! I don’t know about that but did I mention it might be the sexiest way to do all those things? I’ve read the specs, I seen the video, I’ve marvelled at the design but … (there is always a but) the question is would I buy one? To be honest, It looks like a big iPod or iTouch and you can’t exactly call that a criticism. Some might say 9.56inches is big and be proud. I say, it’s small. Handy. A good size. And with a width of 7.47inches – it’s going to be small enough to cart around very easily. It’s a veritable pocket powerhouse promising extreme intuition for the user and features we’re already familiar with only better. My mum can use it. My Nan can use it. My dad can use it.

As the blurb says, it does everything you can do normally – only better. If I listen to my heart as it thuds ever so delicately in my chest, I’m already whipping out my credit card as I type (yes, that’s right, I can multitask). But if I listen to my head and stop to think, I don’t think I’d buy it. It didn’t blow my socks off quite as much as I thought it would. You could say that my expectations were too high but if you have an iTouch or an iPhone – why would you buy an iPad? If you want a bigger screen, more speed and an ability to play more games then I guess you might be tempted but it doesn't offer much more than the iPhone. And it is missing features. No camera (I double checked and still find it hard to believe it doesn’t have one) so no pics and no video conferencing. As a photographer, I was tempted to get one to dump my photographs on when I’m travelling and use it as a portable hard drive. Oh no, wait, it doesn’t have an SD card slot? Shoot. Never mind, I’ll use the USB port as a connection. What? There isn’t one? Hmmm. Of course, you could look at it the other way and say that, since it's just like the iPhone/iTouch, it's instantly usable by millions of people. A bit like Windows without the glitches *coughs* And the iBook feature which looks super amazing. That I am interested in.

Now Apple has a loyal army of hardcore followers that must have the latest Apple gizmo so I don't need to be psychic to know that this gadget will sell. But I’d rather wait for the new iPhone and get that instead. Or, if I really want one when I finally manage to caress one in a shop, I might wait till the 2nd or 3rd incarnation. Or, if the exchange rate works out in our (UK's) favour, I might still get one anyway and live a little - $500 for the basic iPad is around £350. *sigh* I'm normally so decisive.

Decisions, decisions. What should I do? Views? Opinions? Will you all be getting one?

Treehouse rating: N/A (For now)

Could be a chronic case of iron pyrites or golden Apples ...

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Sunday, 24 January 2010

2009 we barely knew ye..



2009 was a great year for cool stuff, and now that we’re firmly into 2010, we can safely look back without anger, and assess our favourite moments of all the cool stuff, and work out which was coolest. Cool films, cool games, movers and shakers, all the best bits. Come on through to see my roundup of both stuff and things that went well in 2009, and a little look forward to 2010 too.

Best Film

It was a fantastic year for sci fi nerdy joy with an avalanche of hotly anticipated brilliance right throughout the seasons, from Watchmen to Star Trek to Avatar, but who could’ve predicted it would be a (relatively) low budget, deeply personal and political buddy movie that would see them all off? Yes, my sci fi movie of the year has to go to District 9. By turns hilarious, disturbing, thrilling and moving, District 9 is that rare gem of a movie where you expect little and come away with so much. Of all the movies released in 2009, with perhaps the exception of Avatar, District 9 is the one people will remember years from now as being an important milestone both in the genre and in the creation of a force to be reckoned with in 1st time director Neil Blomkamp.

Best Comedy Character

In the year of Hangovers and Brunos, laughs were generally pretty thin on the ground in 2009. Perhaps that’s why the movie that made me laugh more than any other came so far out of left field, being as it was Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds. Sure there was plenty of wincing too in this uber violent jew-ish-fulfillment vengeance wet dream, but punctuated with moments of such comic brilliance to make it stick out firmly in the mind. Brad Pitt's drawl. The pipe. The headbutt. Colonel Landa generally. In fact lets just make him best character of 2009 and be done.



GOTY

Best game is a tricky one as I spent most of 2009 playing Fallout 3 – technically a 2008 title, but one of such breadth and depth, it took me that long to get through it. Add in the expansion packs and cor blimey guvnor that’s more gaming than you can shake a Chinese officer’s sword at. But rules is rules, so for a strictly 2009 only GOTY, look no further than Batman Arkham Asylum. With a sublime mix of stealth and brawling, both masterfully implemented, never before have we felt so Batman-y. If God is in the details, Batman Arkham Asylum is a religious experience, the beautifully crafted asylum is choc full of delicious nods to Batman’s glorious comic book roots, with villains and in jokes under every flowerpot. Throw in some truly out-there set pieces, flawless voice acting and a combat system so tightly implemented, dropping into a room full of thugs and walking away moments later, the assailants soundly snoozing with broken limbs a-plenty, has never felt so rewarding.

Best TV moment

A fire burns in a ceremonial bowl. A young man silently weaves at a loom. Now he’s on a pristine beach, catching a fish and cooking it on a stone, before eating it from a banana leaf. Up trots another slightly shifty looking man, and they have a chat, an ongoing argument. The shifty man asks him if he realises how badly he wants to kill him. The man replies he does. “Always nice talking to you Jacob”, and as we pan back, we see the man sits in the shadow of the enormous Egyptian statue until now glimpsed only in the distance, and all those years ago, by Sayid as merely a foot. Yes its Lost, yes it’s still amazing, and yes it will all be over soon. What will we do without it? The reveal of Jacob, the mysterious secret keeper of the island as a simple island dwelling fisherman at the start of the season finale was typically brilliant Lost. It told us so much, and yet so little. The later reveal about who a certain character wasn’t what we thought either was equally thrilling. Where do we go from here?

Biggest Tearjerker

Aside from the moment in Avatar when Jake flies for the first time (oh wow!), there was only one other movie moment in 2009 that jerked my ducts, and that was UP. In a sequence of unprecedented genius (actually, Pixar have a long history of genius so perhaps not totally unprecedented) we see our youthful protagonists grow up and grow old together, and heart breakingly, one of them pass away, all in the space of a 3 minute sequence in the first act of the film. We don't know these characters well yet, having only been introduced to them moments earlier, and yet the sequence is so powerfully moving, people in the cinema were openly blubbering, and we suddenly fully understand a character for the entire rest of the movie, who would otherwise have been rather unlikeable. It's testament to Pixar's brilliance that they would even consider putting such a sequence in a film like UP in the way that they did, but to get it so right, so emotionally spot on, is just mind blowing.

Best news for real Doctor Who fans

Ok, so I know I'm kind of in the minority here, but I for one am very pleased to finally see the back of Tennant and his leash holding idiot savant ego maniac scribbler Russel T Davies. Yes Davies re booted the Doctor, yes without him we wouldn't have had the success that was Eccleston and the handful of good episodes turned in since his departure, but he has also subjected us to some of the biggest stinkers. He single-handedly destroyed the Master, reduced from a hirsute arch nemesis to a blathering bin-man mug. His plots revolved around whatever zeitgeisty dross he had happened to read about in the Metro the day before, thank Christ Tennant to his credit had the good sense to veto the "Harry Potter" episode, where magic became real and guest starring JK Rowling. Jesus. And the Doctor meanwhile turned into the trendy geography teacher who always knew what was going on, never had a worry, and had 2 expressions - smug or wide eyed. His finale was a typically painful affair, spewed from Davies' backside and loaded with nonsensical drivel as everyone wondered what Timothy Dalton was thinking, the climax of which saw Tennat simpering, " I don't want to go..". On that pay I bet you didn't, now piss off. Early indications for 2010 are rosy, new boy Matt Smith under real writer Steven Moffat looks a good fit, although his penchant for shouting Geronimo is a littlle worrying. Watch this space..

Best game featuring a turntable based peripheral

Perhaps surprisingly the winner for me in this heavily populated gaming genre is Freestyle Games' DJ Hero. With a solid deck in the box, a set list of such quality I need to get it on my Ipod, and game play so intense there will be whole generations of wannabe DJ's with massive right arms and an affinity for flickering colourful patterns. A true innovation that is a start to what I hope will be a massively successful series, the joy of decks is alive and well. DJ battles over Xbox live prove a hit and miss affair - poor losers are prone to ditching when the tunes not going their way, but when it works, its a blast. Pure toe tapping, carpal tunnel inducing goodness.

Best phone that wasn't an I-phone

Slightly biased as I didn't do a whole lot of exhaustive testing, but the winner here is, my new phone, the HTC Hero phone. Its a lovely bit of kit, but I mention it here because of its awesomeness in the pocket gaming arena. Thanks to a healthy homebrew community, the android phone can play existing collections of roms for all of your old favourites from the Nes, Megadrive, Super Nes, master system and more. Duckhunt is now a regular fixture on mine, yes it supports the lightgun games. The caveat for the freedom of distribution is you must own any rom you download, otherwise its just bare-faced piracy. Luckily my games collection is extensive, but now they come with me in my pocket..






So that was 2009, but what of 2010?? Well, there's plenty afoot , but for now, lets just make do with..

Most hotly anticipated film of 2010

The only film on my radar, obliterating all others, is this remarkable looking monster from Christopher Nolan. What. Is. This? Not since the Matrix has there apparently been a film of such broad vision that we knew so little about. One of those rare cinematic experiences where you cannot know what you are going to see, you have to see it for yourself.



Most hotly anticipated game of 2010

With a solid 11 months til the appearance of Natal, I’ll have to come up with something else to look forward to in the meantime. There are a few things that spring to mind, most of them sequels disturbingly, all though 2009’s finest were mostly sequels too come to think of it. So there’s Mass Effect 2, Battlefield BC 2, Bioshock 2 lets hear it for the 2’s! Also Heavy Rain will finally fall, and I am very interested to see how that turns out, will it be the catalyst to the final PS3 purchase? No I'm still pretty sure the Last Guardian will see to that, and that remains one of my most eagerly anticipated games ever. But as we’ve covered it elsewhere, lets pick something new.. hrmm, ok, how about Metro 2033. From a team composed largely of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R crew, and set in the crumbling metro/bomb shelter under Moscow, this ruskie apocalypse game is set to be right up my proverbial. That said, I will miss the open fields and the melancholy trees of Stalker-ville, so maybe I should just opt for the imminent S.T.A.L.K.E.R instalment, call of Pripyat. Means I’ll need to upgrade my rig though, damn..




There's plenty more to look forward to of course, but what are you hoping to get out of 2010? Tell me now!



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Wednesday, 30 December 2009

oh and while I remember.. Merry Christmas!!


Its a little belated, but here's a retrospective very merry Christmas from us here at the Prefab Treehouse, and have a fantabulous new year! 2009 was a good one, so here's hoping 2010 brings us all lots of joy, there's certainly plenty of great films and games to look forward to, and by crikey, my new year's resolution is to write about more of them! Thanks to all our readers and commenters which we've seen expand hugely over the last 12 months, it's great to know people actually read the drivel we put up here, even if just now and again!

The image above by the way comes courtesy of tcs.net who kindly let me use a pic of their amazing treehouse, which sadly I don't own, but whose existence has prompted me to start a project to build one, as it looks like I could happily live in that.. Their site is full of amazing photography so do stop in for a peek if you get a chance.. Thanks to them, and a Happy New Year to one and all!

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Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Review: Avatar

After a very, very long time coming, the most hotly anticipated film of recent memory has finally landed. 14 years gestation and awaiting the technology to sufficiently catch up to him, James Cameron has unleashed his “Dances with Smurfs”, amid a climate of fear and trepidation that the hype had outrun the reality of the project, and that this would be Ferngully with thundercats. The screenings of sections of footage in cinemas around the world a couple of months back did little to allay people’s fears, instead fuelling the fire and the backlash to fever point, before anyone had even seen the finished product; in many peoples books Avatar looked set to be the biggest cinematic misstep of all time. Me though, I never had a doubt. Not a one! And my blind faith/stubbornness has been vindicated by what I saw in my local Imax cinema, and indeed again in a regular cinema later on. Avatar is mindblowingly impressive. Brain scramblingly beautiful. Thought shreddingly groundbreaking, and many other hyperbolically italicised plaudits. While it’s not going to be getting any awards for its script, or in places, it’s acting, it undoubtedly sets the bar ridiculously high in terms of what’s visually possible in cinema. An utterly compelling alien world is up there on screen for us to marvel at, and is so detailed, so convincing that you will want to take your holidays there. Even if you’re not much of a sci-fi fan, you really should give serious thought to entering the world of Avatar. Some spoilers follow..

It’s 2154 and Sam Worthington’s Jake Sully is finding a new lease of life. After an apparent run of fairly abysmal happenings; he is a marine in a wheelchair after an injury, and his twin brother has just been murdered, he is offered a unique opportunity for a new life. His brother you see, was a scientist involved in a very special project – an attempt at diplomatic relations with an alien species. Earth, referred to in passing as a dying world, is undertaking a mining mission on a distant planet’s moon, where the impossibly valuable and dubiously monikered, 'unobtanium' is abundant, and there the alien natives are causing bother for the intrepid miners. The air is toxic and every attempt to relate to the tree dwelling savages has pushed them further away, making Pandora the most hostile environment in the universe, with the exception of Oxford street on Christmas eve. The less than immediately obvious solution is to grow human/native hybrid bodies, the titular Avatars, which can then be remotely controlled by a human ‘pilot’ from the safety of a pod back at base. Because the Avatars are both hugely expensive to make, and need to be a grown from your DNA – Jake is a perfect fit for his dead brother’s which would otherwise have gone to waste. With not a lot else on his plate, off he jets on a six year cryo ride to the other side of the galaxy, and Pandora.

Despite a chronic lack of training or knowledge, Jake drops into the programme with aplomb – Sigourney Weaver’s Grace is the project task master and is none too pleased about having a trigger happy marine on her team- her protests fall on the deaf ears of the big cheese at the top, the fastidious Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) who views Sully as a lucky save. “lucky he had a twin who wasn’t a dental hygienist” he remarks, making fairly good sense. So in his new avatar body, and by various mishaps in the jungle, Jake quickly finds himself among the natives who, thanks to several dubious ‘signs’ from the local deity, agree to teach him their ways. Specifically, he is set to be taught by the chiefs daughter who found him, the confusingly hot Neytiri. From here on it’s all learning local custom and the deep connection (literally) they have to the forest, while at the same time reporting back to the evil human taskmasters. For Jake has in secret agreed to feed tactical information to the mad marine Colonel Quarritch and Ribisi that can help bring down the creatures when the time comes, these villainous types having a totally separate, and uniformly evil, agenda to Sigourney et al, who remain firm Naaviophiles. If you’ve seen the trailer, you know where this is going – it’s no surprise to learn that by the final act, Jake has firmly switched sides, fallen in love with the chiefs daughter, is fighting the increasingly aggressive and encroaching invaders and generally being heroic and alien, flying about the place on his alien dragon-steed. Most of the final act is one of the more spectacular extended battle sequences committed to film, but will Jake and the natives be able to fight off the technological terror of the humans with their shock and awe attacks? Ahem. What do you think?

So the plot is no great shakes, but it’s in the telling that Cameron has excelled. The Avatars themselves are simply extraordinary creations, and an incredible achievement of visual effect and performance capture. Each avatar looks like the actor portraying them, but are patently not them. For a start they’re about nine feet tall – the scenes where they’re depicted alongside the humans are quite startling, and for second, they’re bright blue and have pointy ears and tails. The amount of expression captured in each face is quite remarkable, and was achieved through pioneering techniques developed by Cameron, they are utterly convincing and convey emotion like no other CG creation ever seen – you may think Gollum was pretty good, and he was, but this is a whole new level we didn’t know was there, and the scary thing is it’s only going to improve. Zoe Saldana's Neytiri is particularly spellbinding - her face so full of emotion and expression I ended up wanting a nine foot tall blue girlfriend.

The other star of the show is Pandora itself, and in many ways is even more of an achievement than the avatars. The forest planet is essentially one massive rain forest, full of fantastical plants and creatures, but to think that it has all been created from scratch is simply incomprehensible. Impossibly high trees tower overhead, huge mountains float above the surface, by night the forest is alive with spectacular bioluminescence, the world is simply beautiful in its every detail. The creatures inhabiting it are no less impressive, from the massive rhino like creatures to the airborne pterodactyl-alikes, each one is extremely convincing in its execution, exhibiting perfectly plausible evolutionary traits, even if they are a bit too close too earthbound animals in some instances. Throw in the 3-D and you have a world that’s amazing to behold that you are right in the middle of, and that you will scarcely realise as you’re watching it, that each part of it simply doesn’t exist anywhere except on screen - it's only afterwards on thinking it through that the realisation hits - none of that was real? Impossible! Only marginally less impressive is the human side of the coin, with their mechanised walkers and huge flying aircraft carriers – each piece of hardware is as carefully designed as we’ve come to expect and looks amazing in action, particularly during the latter half of the film when they really get to strut their stuff.

There is however, no getting round the fact that the story is thin. It’s criticism of humanity, technology vs the environment and even parallels to the Iraq war are all barely disguised, and are on paper at least, supremely corny. The villains of the piece, the bad militaristic/capitalist humans, are more 2 dimensional than their CG opposite numbers, being incredibly simplistic comic book baddies, hell bent on exploiting the uneducated tree dwelling native idiots. It's almost insulting to suggest that after such vast leaps forward in technology that society would have advanced so little morally to leave Ribisi so unable to comprehend what the native's problem with him tearing up their home might be. The Naavi meanwhile are portrayed as wise, spiritually rich and morally unimpeachable, and Jake abandons his old human life with zero consequence or regret. It’s a typically guilt laden white man self flagellation, the alien nation here impossibly romanticised into examples of a perfect existence.

But then, as it is an alien nation, it can be romanticised as much as Cameron likes – it’s not really native Americans, it’s not really Iraq, it’s a bunch of blue aliens in a tree (we love tree houses around here after all), and what Cameron has achieved is to be able to put you there unlike any previous attempt to immerse you in an alien world, and it’s a place you will want to visit again and again. You could argue the corniness of the plot almost enhances the experience, as anything more complex in terms of whose side we should be on might have lessened or connection to the world. I wouldn't personally argue that, but you could if you wanted to. What is certain though is that the amount of emotion Cameron manages to wring out of you as we watch Jake delve deeper into the culture is immense – the learning to fly sections in particular are simply breathtaking, and you will feel the outrage and the despair as the humans tear down the beloved trees though which the people speak to their dead ancestors. Oh yes you will. The fact that Jake’s real body lies helpless somewhere else while he’s off leaping though the jungle is also nicely exploited to dramatic effect, giving rise to some great nail biting moments, and the battles when they kick off are just amazing. But Cameron delights equally in the quiet moments, the plants of the forest, some little insect fluttering by, a raised eyebrow of a curious native - all so impeccably realised, how can this not be a documentary? Whether or not this will stand up to scrutiny at home is to be seen, but I want that DVD if just to see how the hell it was all done!

The fruits of Cameron's four year labour in terms of creating a living breathing world are onscreen for all to see, this film grabs you by the eyeballs, and sucks you straight into its world and keeps you there for 3 full hours - you'll be there at the end, cheering and shaking your fist at the screen, ready to sign up to the next freighter that will ship you out to Pandora. But, then you remember, we don't really have space travel yet and you're stuck on this drab little planet, and realise you have no choice but to go back to the front of the queue and buy another ticket to get back that wonderful place. Is this the game changer we had been promised? - absolutely - we are now at the point where technology can deliver things we've genuinely never seen before, and I for one am very excited to see where this takes us next. For now though, forget small steps, Avatar is one giant leap for mankind.


Treehouse rating

4/5

Out of this world

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Monday, 14 December 2009

Quintessential..



Since I recently found myself in the greatest city in the world, I’ve taken a page out of S1nner’s book and gone nuts with a camera. While I make no claim to have an iota of talent or photographic knowledge, and my tools were, by most’s standards, basic (yet arousingly svelte), I did very much enjoy snapping away at every inch of that amazing town, and still have Rhapsody in Blue reverberating around my skull. So here then is a small selection of the almost embarrassing number of images I indiscriminately digitised, a little love letter to my favourite city on earth. Its quintessentially New York.

Is there a place in all the world that oozes such self assurance, such nonchalant hipness? Everywhere you go, you simply cannot move for something amazing, be it a fantastic view, an easy going bar, an exceptional restaurant (reviews coming up. Oh yes). No, London gets a lot of kudos for being a great city, and it is, in it’s own mean spirited, selfish kind of way – London you have to grab by the throat and squeeze the good stuff out of, make efforts to seek out the juicy, squishy delights lurking beneath a soggy batter of mediocrity. In NY, the goods throw themselves at you at every turn. And then if you delve a bit deeper, you find the really good stuff. Of course it’s easy to romanticise such a place, especially when decked out in it's festive trappings, but if ever there was a city worth romanticising it’s this one.

People say New Yorkers are tough, surly, mean. Balls. What a lovely, cuddly downright adorable tribe they are. Ok so we didn’t spend an awful lot of time in the Bronx, but generally speaking, the man on the NY street is about a gazillion times more likely to offer a lost tourist a hand than you would find on the poshest London street. And in the bars and restaurants? fuggedaboudit, the level of service borders on the ridiculous. Recommendations, honest advice, what not to have or do, all are more forthcoming than the endless coffee refills, and all are spot on. Sure there's a tip waiting for them with the bill, but hey, you gets whats you pays for. In every side street lurks a little slice of greatness, an energy and creativity that pervades the most meagre diner, the most unlikely looking tavern. If ever there was a place I could slip into like a fatman into plate of pancakes, it’s the Big Apple, if just to sit and watch the day unfold.

Do you New Yorkers ever get tired of your town? Is it possible? Sure maybe when you're not on holiday, wandering the streets in a silly hat taking pictures of doorways, and are actually say, making a living or something, it might become a little less striking, but really, does it? Can it? I really can't see it!

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Thursday, 3 December 2009

Review: The Road

The road is long, with many a winding turn. Two statements that can’t readily be applied to this, the movie version of Cormac McCarthy’s celebrated novel, for clocking in at just over 110 minutes it's relatively short, and with nary a plot twist, or indeed a plot in sight, isn't terribly windy either, this Road is in fact a beautiful but flawed apocalypse movie. The apocalypse itself is almost incidental to McCarthy's novel, an exploration of humanity at its very end, following the travelling father/son duo on their wacky adventure across a decimated North America, and documenting their jolly encounters with travelling salesmen, entertainers and cannibals, and the film is no different. So no different in fact that you may emerge blinking into the colourful real world thankful that it is still there and just as colourful as you remembered, or perhaps, despite the excellent work by everyone involved, just thankful that the movie is over.

It was never going to be easy, bringing this one to the silver screen. McCarthy’s America is one where nothing grows, no birds sing, no squirrels gather nuts and the sun never, ever shines. The causal event of such devastation is only hinted at, here by subtle flashback – a nuclear war? A tumultuous natural disaster? Who knows. What is clear is that the world is dead. No animal save for man walks upon the earth, and humanity is its death throes. Those that remain some ten years after the event survive as they must in the brutal ash covered landscape. And it is here that our protagonists known only as the man (Viggo Mortensen) and the boy (newcomer Kodi Smit-Mcphee), travel south in search of, anything. Along the way they scavenge and survive, and occasionally run into other survivors – typically tense affairs when the majority of strangers want to eat your legs – and that is literally the entirety of the plot.

What the book, and to a less successful extent the film, try to gauge, is the capacity of man for good and evil. The man and boy are the self professed “good guys” – who would never eat another person no matter how hungry they were – but of course each encounter with another party, a punctuation in the monotonous silent crawl south, explores how good the man really is, and what lessons he is passing onto his son. An early encounter with a rather mad-max-esque hick ends abruptly with a bullet to the head in the name of protecting the boy – fair enough you might say, but later run-ins see a harsh punishment doled out to a would be thief (watch out for an overly-chubby-for-the-role Michael Kenneth Williams Omar fans!) and the man’s fury tempered by the merciful son – has he learned good lessons? I don’t know, I’d say he wouldn't last five minutes with such a trusting nature, honestly has he learned nothing?? But then that's the point, the morality on display in extraordinary circumstances; we’ll all come away with a different take on how we might believe ourselves to behave in such a position.

But the trouble is, the book is good for such reflection, for such melancholy daydreaming, but the film is something else. A book you can put down, or look up from and surround yourself with the warmth of reality. Here we are locked in the barren grey silence of it all for the duration. And this would be no bad thing, if it weren’t so slavishly tied to the book's content. Of course it never really had a choice in the matter – fans of the novel would be liable to self immolation if an additional sentence of spoken dialogue or scene with a shopping mall were added, so it can’t be held at fault for it, but the fact remains this is a very slender narrative. As the pair make their way south, the man’s health gradually declines, and the ultimate question of what will happen to our offspring we leave behind us raises it’s ever present ugly head. It is an interesting conundrum, and makes for some genuinely tense moments during some particularly grisly encounters with the logical conclusion of life at the end of days, but can’t sustain itself into what we might consider a cinematic plot.

It falls then to the acting, and fortunately, this is where The Road triumphs. Viggo is, as ever, hypnotically great. Appearing half dead for half of the film, he brings a natural sensitivity to the role of the doting father, carefully tutoring the boy in methods of survival, while simultaneously marvelling at how little he understands, born as he was at the start of the “event”, about the world before the devastation. “You think I’m from a different world don’t you?” he croaks at one point, as indeed he is. He treads the finest of lines throughout the film between morality and brutality, motivated to good and bad only by his boy, his emotional and physical decline throughout is both touching and painful to watch. The boy meanwhile is also excellent, although the “look Papa!” wore thin after about five minutes. Supporting cast members, thin on the ground as they are, are all very well played, especially a brilliant turn from an almost unrecognisable Robert Duval as the old man, and a buck toothed cameo from Hilcoat favourite, Guy Pearce.

Speaking of which, The Road is a difficult proposition to quantify. While being on the one hand superbly made, diligently shot and impeccably acted it is simultaneously grey, flat, depressing and dare I say it, a little boring. Obviously one does not expect action adventure from such a movie, yet there is so little life in the lens that it fails to excite on a fundamental level. The barren stills of There will be Blood never failed to capture the imagination, no matter how little was happening in the frame, same for other “quiet” movies like Walkabout or Flash Gordon. But the Road is as drained of passion as the picture is of colour – it feels as tired as it’s ailing protagonists, who while excellent in themselves never really feel connected. That sense of disconnection may well be deliberate, but it only serves to undermine our relation to the characters. The clipped, dry dialogue of the book is retained here, and off the page feels cold and distant. Do I really give a monkeys if these two don’t make it through the relentless bleakness? Why delay the inevitable? Of course, this again is a central tenet of the story, as is nicely illustrated by Charlize Theron’s rather harrumphy exit from their lives some years earlier, did she have the right idea in saving herself all this greyness?

Despite all the ambiguity, I would recommend the Road to those of a reflective and melancholy nature as it does provide a morbidly-emotionally gruelling couple of hours. To those of you of an excessively exuberant and effervescent disposition, you should probably see it too as you’re pissing us all off with your relentlessly cheerful attitude. I wouldn’t recommend it to you however if you’re expecting Mad Max or Dennis Hopper with an eyepatch, there are no gyrocopters here. What is here is a thoughtful and tender meditation on life and death, in a realistically stylised vision of the end of days. An essayist's study of what it means to be human, and after everything has passed, what it means to be a good human, all told through a brown lens with the odd cannibal thrown in for good measure.

The Road is released in the UK on 8th January

Treehouse Rating

3/5

Armageddon outta here

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Tuesday, 24 November 2009

One and a half days in Rio de Janeiro


Quite unexpectedly, Rio has become my favourite place to be (with the exception of Kashmir but I was born there so it doesn’t count). Saying it’s my favourite place is quite a statement given that I was actually only there for a day and a half and I was petrified of getting mugged as soon as I left the airport. So, let me explain ...

Everyone told me “Be careful, it’s City of God country”. I have no doubt the ‘wrong’ parts of town are dangerous but my experience was overwhelmingly positive. And how is man known for being so hard to please erm pleased? Was the sea? The sand perhaps? That beautiful sky? Or the hot rays of sunshine on my skin? The people? The food? The stunning scenery? Actually, it was all of the above. There are beaches and then there are the beaches. Rio has character and atmosphere by the bucket load. It’s very hard for anyone not to fall in love with Rio.

The start of the relationship
Flying from Sau Paulo where I’d been working for 3 days, I arrived in Rio late Thursday night. The flight was delayed so I missed an evening in Rio. So off to the hotel I went and checked in and slept soundly till 7am. Friday morning and my adventure began. The highlights of my stay:

Christ the Redeemer
If you think of Rio, a few things spring to mind and this colossal monument is one of them. The statue is 130 ft tall and 98 ft wide. It weighs 635 tons and is located at 2300ft on top of the Corcovado Mountain overlooking the city (you can’t really miss it). In July 2007, Christ the Redeemer was named one of the New Seven Wonders of the World in a list compiled by the Swiss-based “The New Open World Corporation”. I’m not sure I’d agree but it doesn’t matter. It’s impressive! The tour guide told us it was made of concrete shipped in from Switzerland but a quick search on the internet says it’s made from soapstone. Not sure what that is but in any case, it’s a great monument and the views from Corcovado are spectacular. Actually, getting to the top by tram is good fun – it’s very steep to walk (although people do actually do this).

Sugar Loaf Mountain
Cable cars take passengers up the mountain in two stages, the first stopping at the Morro da Urca, a smaller mountain in front of Sugarloaf, and the second continuing on to the summit, each stage taking three minutes. Again, the views are spectacular and it’s well worth a visit. I had a moment of mental peace while I was up on Sugar Loaf. There is even a club there but I didn’t get to check it out (this time). For all you film buffs, Sugar Loaf is where James Bond battles Jaws in Moonraker!

Copacabana Beach
Everywhere I looked I saw people playing volleyball or football, people basking in the glorious sunshine and buff men strutting around in the tiniest Speedos (slightly disturbing as I’ve never seen so many men’s crotches in my life). I walked the entire length of the beach and back again. It was fabulous. The people were great, the weather was great, I managed to burn despite my sun cream factor 30 but I didn’t care. Sitting down drinking coconut milk watching the world go by was simply wonderful. I was introduced to a drink called ‘Guarana’ – sugary, syrupy, tasty and full of caffeine it will wake you up and keep you buzzing. One can was enough though …

Conclusion
I sincerely regret not staying for longer in Rio. It’s left its marked on me. I need it. I want to lie on that beach, swim in those waters, watch those people walk by and feel content. Because that is what I realise Rio did for me. It washed away my troubles and woes and, for a short time at least, I was happy to be me.

Treehouse rating:

5/5 –
“Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand …”
“Tall and tan and young and lovely, The girl from Ipanema goes walking, And when she passes each one she passes goes "a-a-ah!"

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Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Batman based song of the week



Words are great. We love 'em here at the Treehouse, and bandy them about willy nilly, sometimes using whole sentences in displays of uncharacteristic eloquence. But dammit all, they’re so 2008. As we creep towards the bright future, much like Doc Brown’s distaste for roads, where we’re going we won’t need words. For the rise of the video, though apparent for a good while now, has been ever more stealthily spreading it’s seductive tendrils. The video review is certainly no new thing, we’re big Yahtzee fans around here, and indeed even the Gametrailers reviews are things of much value, allowing viewers to see the words of the reviewers in their heads, sometimes literally. But surely the work of Rebecca Mayes eclipses all of these pretenders to the medium, for she is carving herself the niche in video gaming of video song reviews. She not only uses words, and a plethora of instruments, and catchy ditties, but also adorable little penguin outfits and tea sets. A brave new world of games reviews dawns. She was recently featured on Charlie Brooker’s excellent Gameswipe, with her review of Madworld, but this delightful love note to Batman: Arkham Asylum is at once pretty and insightful, and is surely her finest work to date. Ever a sucker for the incredibly talented I take off my penguin hat to her and bid her continue with this bold march towards a word free future. But then again, some faces are meant for radio, so please don’t think too harshly of us if we continue to spout a couple now and again around here. See more of the wonderful Rebecca Mayes at her home at The Escapist, but not I hasten to add, at her real home because that, sir, has a word, and that word is stalker.

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Sunday, 8 November 2009

Review: Paranormal Activity

The marketers of indie flick Paranormal Activity must’ve had a helluva time with this one. A no-budget, skeleton cast and crewed horror spook-em up written and directed by newcomer Oren Peli, very much in the vain of Blair Witch and REC, clips from the footage probably didn’t lend themselves well to trailers. Which is presumably why the early trailer mostly consisted of massive banners quoting reviews; “you will never sleep again”, “you will poop you pants” and so forth they cried (both of which are a bit of an exaggeration) and the current trailer is in the style of the film itself, documenting an audience's terror in lovely night vision as though the main protagonist dusted himself down and kept on filming. And oh, how they scream, oh how they jump. Yes it’s the classic first person “found footage” scare-fest riding on the wave of some quite novel marketing buzz, this time though happily offering a semi-plausible reason as to why the protagonists might continue filming instead of putting down the camera and picking up a bat – a) they’re documenting spooky happening in their house, b) you can’t hit a ghost with a bat stoopid. Also, this footage has been found, and then some thoughtful soul has kindly edited it into a nice sub-90 minute package, and in so doing have crafted a highly competent little creepshow that delivers some genuine chills that will stay with you well after you leave the cinema and crawl back to your safe, dark little bed. Um.., what was that sound..?

The footage follows Micah and Katie, and handsome young couple living in a nice little house in a nice little area. They have a pool and everything. Micah has invested in a tasty new camera to document what’s been happening in this suburban cul-de- sac. It’s a blindingly simple conceit, and is executed brilliantly - the early scenes are utterly plausible, the pair of unknowns being extremely convincing as a happy couple, screwing around with Micah’s new toy and each other, and not taking the whole ghost thing too seriously. And so, they document their lives, setting the camera on a tripod in the corner of the bedroom to watch for spooky happenings while they sleep, in a static shot that we will come to dread, and generally creeping themselves out during the day by watching the footage we have just watched “live”. Things start off at a crawl and gradually ramp up. A door moving by itself, some strange banging sounds – the kind of thing we generally experience now and again, adding to the paranoia you’ll feel on returning home after viewing. But the haunting increases in intensity and violence as the days go on, culminating in a – well, I couldn’t possibly say how far it goes, but you may need to take something/someone to hold onto. It emerges Katie has been followed by this haunting for most of her life, and this demon, so sayeth the obligatory psychic expert who pops in for tea, is in some way connected to her - there's no point in running away. And so they don't, and despite at times wanting to, neither do we.

There was a real risk this could have turned into an episode of some TV ghost hunting nonsense with two nitwit protagonists jumping at noises and generally being dull and occasionally screaming at the camera. The horror, when it kicks in in earnest however, is quite dramatic, and after the gentle, lolling introduction, it comes as quite a shock when things get real. Soon the haunting is being really very creepy, and the night scenes become little wars of attrition where we fear the worst and are forced to watch helplessly as the pair try make it through the night, their fragile bodies at the mercy of whatever is stalking in the darkness; we all need sleep after all, and playing on this vulnerability, you really may have trouble dropping off the first night after you watch it. It taps into something quite primal that gets those neck hairs upright just thinking about it - that there might be something just behind your head right now - "I can feel it breathing on me" gasps Katie. Eu, creepsville!

The pacing of the film is in fact both its greatest strength, and ultimately it biggest flaw.While the slow early scenes build up gradually, making it all the more effective when things kick off properly, the movie is not well balanced as a whole. Much like a nervous teenager (if you’ll excuse a rather crass analogy), it warms you up with a lot of perfectly skilful foreplay, but then, just when things start getting really interesting, it makes a clumsy headfirst dash for the finish line. Once we’d got to the meat, I wanted more scares, more action! There were plenty of nice low budget places it could have gone, and that I assumed it would go, given the snail’s pace it had been building us up at, but instead it was all over in a flash, and left me feeling a bit, well, unfulfilled.

That said, this feeling is all testament to how well the near zero budget has been used, the special effects that are in there are extremely well done. Subtle and effective, they really manage to set the nerve endings jangling, and the audience I watched it with were full of gasps and moans and the sounds of straining one involuntarily emits when girding oneself for an impending inevitable shock. “Less is more” is the mantra here – you’ve never before heard such a dramatic reaction from an audience to a light turning on in a distant room, and some brilliantly used time-lapse shots inspired nervous giggling and under breath swearing aplenty – it’s enough to make you sleep with one eye open – and don’t think having someone sleeping nearby will help. Much of the terror stems from great sound design – a low rumble and footsteps can be infinitely more effective than a CG beastie, and of course it helps that our two protagonists, on whom the whole film hangs after all, are both superb to the bitter end - although S1nner found Micah to be a bit irritating.

So it’s all very effective; chilling, nerve wracking and manages to stay with you afterwards, so it must be, as the hype suggests, a classic horror film right? Well, yes and no. It should certainly be seen, and if you are to see it, it should be at the cinema surrounded by a jumpy audience, for what is here is top rate. But ultimately it's so threadbare, so lightweight, it cannot stand up to comparison next to “real” films of the genre. Not to be dismissive of Peli’s massive achievement of getting such a small picture to the big screen, but at the end of the day Paranormal Activity is really little more than a ghost train, a spook house – a cheap carnival thrill. For me, the half baked ending brought the proceedings to a close in a disappointingly abrupt spasm of terror that may have been pleasing at the time, but looking back you can’t help but feel if it had been just a little bit more fully cooked, it could’ve been a bona-fide knee trembler. But hey, everyone still loves the ghost train right? So hop on, enjoy, get home and leave the light on.

Paranormal Activity is released in the UK on the 25th November.

Treehouse rating

3/5

No really, what was that sound?

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