Getting to the 'Bottom' of things ...

Recently I was fortunate enough to travel to Cannes with work. It's a hard, strenuous job but someone has to do it. It was hot and my hotel was right next to the beach front. From my balcony, I could see the sea, the sand, the beautifully blue skies and the sunbathers. I was hot and sweaty in my suit so I decided to have a quick shower. Since I was in the bathroom I decided to use the loo (as one does) and read my paper. As my soft silky *ahem* skin touched the toilet seat I was greeted by a most pleasant warmth. I almost immediately jumped up thinking that someone had been me using my loo! But no, as I looked around I spotted a fantastically advanced control system for my toilet complete with temperature setting for my toilet seat!! The control system is something that would be more at home on the starship Enterprise (Klingons on the starboard bow captain!!!). I then noticed other settings and not one but two types of 'cleansing' sprays. One was 'front' cleansing and the other was 'rear' cleansing. Each came with individual controls for strength of erm spraying and temperature. And once you finish with the 'cleansing' you simply press the button for the 'dryer'. All I can say that if you have never had a dryer blow on your bum, you haven't lived. All this left me feeling rather peculiar but thoroughly clean.

I decided I didn't want to test the 'wand' cleaning function. Wasn't sure what would happen! And coupled with the 'oscillating' function, this toilet made going to the toilet very erm pleasurable. In fact, one could spend hours on this thing and not get bored! And if anyone knows what the heck the 'energy saver' timer switch is for let me know ...

Quite brilliant. I want one at home :)